Stephen Colbert mockingly congratulates the GOP on its TrumpCare self-congratulations


Stephen Colbert started Thursday's Late Show monologue with a combination of Star Wars Day and the House Republicans passing their health-care bill, including a cameo from Late Show congressional correspondent Ben Kenobe.
"The big question is whether the new plan will cover pre-existing conditions, and the answer is a definite mweh?" Colbert said. "Because the bill has an amendment that allows states to opt out — opting out, very popular provision with many of the states who already fly the traditional opt-out flag." (You'll have to watch for that one.) "And, of course, it wouldn't be a Republican bill if it didn't include tax cuts," Colbert said. "ObamaCare was paid for largely with a tax increase on the richest Americans; the new bill will cut taxes for the wealthy up to $883 billion. Now listen, if hearing that raises your blood pressure, calm down — you can't afford the medication anymore."
But this was a day of accomplishment for Republicans, Colbert conceded. "So they did it! ObamaCare is finally officially dead! — is something they can say once the bill goes to the Senate, then gets out of committee, is debated on the floor where amendments can be added, then the Senate votes on their bill, which is sent to conference committee, where the differences between the two bills are ironed out, then voted on in the House and Senate again, then sent to the White House for the president to sign. Which is why Republicans were chanting, 'We're No. 1 ... third of the way through a very complex process!'"
The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
None of that stopped Republicans from celebrating with "a massive beer bash," Colbert said, but "it wasn't just beer. They also served unhatched chickens. There was so much food they had to bring in a cart before a horse." Then, "after the vote, one reporter ran into Reince Priebus, who told her, 'The president stepped up and helped punt the ball into the end zone.' Yes, a punt into the end zone — accurate, because it gets zero points and gives your opponent good field position."
After talking about President Trump, Colbert closed on a darker note: "If you lose your health care, remember, laughter is the best medicine — until yesterday, when a jury convicted a woman who laughed at Jeff Sessions. See, Trump's America isn't so bad — it's just that laughter is now a crime." Watch below. Peter Weber
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
When does autumn begin?
The Explainer The UK is experiencing a 'false autumn', as climate change shifts seasonal weather patterns
-
The rise of the performative male
Talking Point What the latest internet trope tells us about gender roles, dating and male illiteracy
-
5 cracking cartoons about the new Cracker Barrel logo
Cartoons Artists take on MAGA designs, real issues, and more
-
Florida erases rainbow crosswalk at Pulse nightclub
Speed Read The colorful crosswalk was outside the former LGBTQ nightclub where 49 people were killed in a 2016 shooting
-
Trump says Smithsonian too focused on slavery's ills
Speed Read The president would prefer the museum to highlight 'success,' 'brightness' and 'the future'
-
Trump to host Kennedy Honors for Kiss, Stallone
Speed Read Actor Sylvester Stallone and the glam-rock band Kiss were among those named as this year's inductees
-
White House seeks to bend Smithsonian to Trump's view
Speed Read The Smithsonian Institution's 21 museums are under review to ensure their content aligns with the president's interpretation of American history
-
Charlamagne Tha God irks Trump with Epstein talk
Speed Read The radio host said the Jeffrey Epstein scandal could help 'traditional conservatives' take back the Republican Party
-
CBS cancels Colbert's 'Late Show'
Speed Read 'The Late Show with Stephen Colbert' is ending next year
-
A long weekend in Zürich
The Week Recommends The vibrant Swiss city is far more than just a banking hub
-
Shakespeare not an absent spouse, study proposes
speed read A letter fragment suggests that the Shakespeares lived together all along, says scholar Matthew Steggle