Speed Reads

The Daily Showdown

The Daily Show's Trevor Noah quickly hits Brazil's presidential mess, Turkey's goons, and, yes, Trump

In Brazil, President Michel Temer is fighting allegations that he was recorded admitting to bribing a politician who helped oust Temer's predecessor, Trevor Noah noted on Thursday's Daily Show, reminding everyone that crazy stuff is happening outside of Washington, too. "I've been trying to keep up with the scandals plaguing the Brazilian government, because it's really fascinating," he said, giving a brief synopsis, "but the truth is, I can't keep up, because I'm being swamped with all of the scandals happening right here with President Trump."

"It honestly feels like this guy stops all other news," Noah said. "There are probably asteroids headed to Earth right now that are looking at each other, like 'Yo, man, maybe we should come back later. No one's going to notice us.'" So he swung to his "Ain't Nobody Got Time For That" roundup of other things happening around the world. He laughed approvingly that King Willem-Alexander of the Netherlands had a secret "side hustle" as an airline copilot, then lingered a bit on Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan's security guards beating up protesters in Washington, D.C., on Tuesday. "In any other news cycle, this would be the story we'd all be talking about," Noah said. "A foreign president's security detail beating up American citizens exercising their First Amendment protest rights. This is like watching a stranger come into your house and just start beating up your kids."

But we live in the news cycle we have, not the one we want, so he spent the last few minutes on Trump and the special prosecutor named to investigate his team's ties to Russia, Robert Mueller. "Forget investigating the president — make this guy the president," Noah said. "Seriously: good at his job and everybody loves him? He's like a reverse Donald Trump — I bet his hands are huge." He ended on Trump's reactions to Mueller's appointment, the official one and the real one: "You know what? I know that they're struggling right now, but I hope that Twitter never goes out of business. Because without them, we'd never know who the president really is." Peter Weber