Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles Guns

Stephen Colbert lightly rebuts the arguments against banning rifle bump stocks

Congress might actually do something about gun control, Stephen Colbert marveled on Thursday's Late Show, pointing to the surprising openness to regulating or banning bump stocks, a suddenly popular modification for semiautomatic weapons, used by the Las Vegas shooter, that allows people to shoot up to 100 rounds in seven seconds. "It's great for hunting — if you've got seven seconds to kill every animal in the forest," Colbert said. The devices were approved for sale by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives in 2010, on a technicality. "Yes, it's not a gun, it's just part of a gun," he said. "Like when your parents find your bong and you tell them, 'Hey, there's no weed in there now, so technically, that is a vase.'"

So, with the NRA tentatively open to regulating bump stocks, prospects are not totally grim, even though other gun advocacy groups seem more hesitant, arguing that they are already out there for bad guys to use. "Same reason crystal meth should be legal — it's already on the market and passing a law isn't going to stop me from fighting you with a sharpened toothbrush," Colbert said. "Spiders!"

He ended with football — not the NFL kneeling controversy, but Panthers quarterback Cam Newton telling a female reporter that "it's funny to hear a female talk about routes." Colbert was unimpressed with Newton's condescension, but impressed that the woman knew what "routes" and "truck sticking" were and suggested maybe she call him to explain, so he'd know, too. Still, Newton's comments cost him his role as Dannon's spokesman. Colbert smirked: "Hmm, too bad, it was funny to see a male talk about yogurt." Watch below. Peter Weber