Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles Roy Moore

Stephen Colbert and Trevor Noah have pet theories on why Trump and his GOP are standing by Roy Moore

At least nine women have accused Roy Moore of sexual misconduct while they were teenagers, "but the president is standing by his man for a simple reason," Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday's Late Show, assuming President Trump voice: "Yes, we want stopping crime, we just not want stopping sexual assault." Moore, the Alabama GOP Senate nominee, is happy to have Trump's support, tweeting, "I look forward to fighting alongside the president to #MAGA," and Colbert suggested a new meaning for Trump's favorite acronym: "That's the sound teenage girls make when they see Roy Moore at the mall — MAGAAAH!"

Moore's surrogates aren't really helping, Colbert said, playing and recapping a novel talking point from a spokeswoman: "What about all the women who haven't accused him of sexual assault?" But "the madness of defending him does not stop there," he said, playing a truly cringeworthy defense of Moore from his chief strategist, Dean Young. "I'm from South Carolina," Colbert said, "and that is why our state motto is 'Hey, We're Not Alabama.'"

On The Daily Show, Trevor Noah had a saucier explanation for why Trump and most of the GOP are "so morally degenerate that they would actually back this man." Oddly, Trump backed Moore's rival in the GOP primary, he noted. "Back then, Moore's reputation was as a Bible-thumping defender of Christian values. But then the sexual misconduct stuff comes out and Trump's like, 'My man!'"

The Republican Party was pretty easily seduced, Noah said, spinning an elaborate 50 Shades of Grey analogy. "I realized that essentially, Donald Trump has set the Republican Party free," he said. "He's basically their Christian Grey, that's what he is. He's the playboy billionaire who came along and was like, 'I'm going to show you Republicans who you really are deep down on the inside.'" Noah fleshed out his analogy, and you can watch that below. Peter Weber