Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles Michael Cohen

Trevor Noah is on to Michael Cohen's 'Nigerian prince scam.' Jordan Klepper is in on Michael Avenatti's sex appeal.

The payoffs to Michael Cohen, President Trump's personal lawyer, keep getting bigger, with AT&T now known to have paid Cohen at least $600,000 since Trump's election and Novartis at least $1.2 million. "That's right, corporations paid millions of dollars into the same shell company that Cohen then used to pay off Stormy Daniels," Trevor Noah said on Thursday's Daily Show. "And right now, I can't believe that an affair with a porn star is the least scandalous part of this story."

"Why would multibillion-dollar corporations give so much money to Never Call Saul over here?" Noah asked. "It turns out it's because of what he promised," access to Trump. "This guy's not just a swamp creature, he's literally selling swamp tours," he said. Whether Trump is on this or Cohen is "running a solo side hustle," corporations appear to have been "conned," Noah added. "I'm actually shocked that these major corporations got tricked by the classic 'Nigerian prince' scam. Because if Michael Cohen had pitched them in an African accent, they would have seen this coming from a mile away." He demonstrated.

Cohen's "perfect, he's what would happen if Entourage and The Sopranos did a crossover episode," Jordan Klepper said on The Opposition. "But now my boy Mikey is being smeared just for making an honest bu— for making a buck. ... It's like they say, keep your friends close and your lawyer closer, so that he can sell that closeness to the highest bidder."

"Now the left, they want to paint Michael Cohen as some kind of swamp-filling, Russian-friending, hush-money-paying bad guy who's not qualified to teach high school volleyball," Klepper said, but "the real bad guy here is Michael Avenatti, emphasis on the naughty." Trump TV lawyer Rudy Giuliani is no match for the hunky Avenatti, he added, so he brought out a new counsel for Trump, "hot lawyer Michael Gucciucci," and it gets wet. Watch below. Peter Weber