Stephen Colbert examines some of Brett Kavanaugh's 'fudged' sworn testimony, can't imagine Trump a tippler
We might have Justice Brett Kavanaugh already if Sen. Jeff Flake (R-Ariz.) hadn't been accosted in the elevator by two sexual assault survivors on Friday, Stephen Colbert recounted on Monday's Late Show. "Didn't he read the congressional safety sign? 'In case of protest, take the stairs.'" Afterward, Flake dramatically huddled in a phone booth with another senator to hatch a plan to postpone Kavanaugh's confirmation pending a short FBI investigation. "Jeff Flake may have gone into that phone booth as Clark Kent," Colbert said, "but he came out as Clark Kent who is retiring from the Senate so it's okay if he stands up to Donald Trump."
The FBI investigation was originally very narrow, but President Trump partially reversed course, Colbert said, "so now the FBI can talk to some of Brett's buddies at Yale who remember Kavanaugh's drinking a little differently than he does. Because — first of all, drinking, who cares? A lot of people drink," he said, pointing at himself. "But Kavanaugh specifically told the Senate under oath that he was not a blackout drinker," something his former classmates, like Chad Ludington, dispute. "Oh, when you've lost Chad, it can't be long until you lose Brad and Tad..."
"Kavanaugh also fudged some other facts," Colbert said, listing a few. But Trump stood by him in a press conference on Monday, saying he felt bad for "all parties." "Especially the Republican Party, because this midterms, they're gonna get boofed," Colbert said, inadvertently prompting a spontaneous "boofed!" chant. Trump also claimed he saw a Democratic senator in a "very bad situation" — "How bad a situation?" Colbert asked in Trump voice. "Well, let's put it this way: I was there. That's never a good sign" — and asked America to imagine how much worse he would be if he drank alcohol. Colbert tried, and failed. "No, I can't — I can't imagine you being any worse." Watch below. Peter Weber
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
The Spanish cop, 20 million euros and 13 tonnes of cocaine
In the Spotlight Óscar Sánchez Gil, Chief Inspector of Spain's Economic and Tax Crimes Unit, has been arrested for drug trafficking
By The Week UK Published
-
5 hilarious cartoons about the rise and fall of Matt Gaetz
Cartoons Artists take on age brackets, backbiting, and more
By The Week US Published
-
The future of X
Talking Point Trump's ascendancy is reviving the platform's coffers, whether or not a merger is on the cards
By The Week UK Published
-
Jussie Smollet conviction overturned on appeal
Speed Read The Illinois Supreme Court overturned the actor's conviction on charges of staging a racist and homophobic attack against himself in 2019
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Quincy Jones, music icon, is dead at 91
Speed Read The legendary producer is perhaps best known as the architect behind Michael Jackson's 'Thriller'
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
OJ Simpson, star athlete tried for murder, dead at 76
Speed Read The former football hero and murder suspect lost his battle with cancer
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
Momofuku's 'Chili Crunch' trademark uproar
Speed Read The company's attempt to own the sole rights has prompted backlash
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
Kevin Hart awarded Mark Twain Prize
Speed Read He is the 25th recipient of the prestigious comedy prize
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Is Downton Abbey set to return for a final film?
Speed Read Imelda Staunton reveals that a third movie may be in the pipeline
By Adrienne Wyper, The Week UK Published
-
'Oppenheimer' sweeps Oscars with 7 wins
speed read The film won best picture, best director (Christopher Nolan) and best actor (Cillian Murphy)
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
'Rust' armorer convicted of manslaughter
speed read The film's cinematographer Halyna Hutchins was shot and killed by actor Alec Baldwin during rehearsal
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published