Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles 2020

Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel shed crocodile tears for Trump, GOP over Hillary Clinton sitting out 2020

Tuesday's Late Show kicked off with a Game of Thrones parody, borrowing one of President Trump's favorite memes to highlight the sweeping investigations House Democrats have launched into everything Trump: "This spring, brace yourself: Subpoenas are coming."

Host Stephen Colbert also started his monologue with winter and betrayal, using "a visual approximation" of former Trump lawyer Ty Cobb to showcase Cobb's glowing audio comments about Special Counsel Robert Mueller and his investigation. The "visual approximation" was borrowed from a famous Christmas cartoon. "That snowman just tossed Donald Trump under the sleigh!" Colbert joked.

"Regardless of these investigations," Colbert continued, "we're getting closer and closer to the next presidential election," and "with nearly 30 people possibly vying for the Democratic nomination, it's easier to focus on who's not running." He started with Hillary Clinton. "That is tough news for Republicans — they still haven't realized she's no longer running in 2016," he said. Michael Bloomberg also said no on Tuesday, Colbert added. "I'm a bit concerned for him, because other New York mayors who've left office have ended up in humiliating dead-end jobs."

Jimmy Kimmel noted on Kimmel Live that while first lady Melania Trump is on tour, Trump once again ordered a mountain of fast food to host a winning sports team. "This is textbook Trump: He does something weird, and then keeps doing it over and over again to try to make it seem normal," Kimmel said. "Trump runs the White House like a divorced dad who forgot he had the kids this weekend."

"While his wife is out on the road speaking out against cyberbullying, Trump finds out Hillary Clinton isn't running again — which we all knew anyway — and writes" a sarcastic tweet saying "she will be sorely missed!" Kimmel said. There was actually a very mixed reaction to Clinton's low-key announcement, but "who do you think is more disappointed by this, Donald Trump or Bill Clinton?" Peter Weber