Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles Stormy Daniels

Stephen Colbert and Trevor Noah laugh over Michael Avenatti's arrest, wonder how Trump got so lucky

President Trump "may not be indicted," Stephen Colbert said on Monday's Late Show, "but one person is facing consequences for his alleged crimes": Michael Avenatti. "You may remember Avenatti as the man who used to represent Stormy Daniels in her suit against the president, using the cunning legal strategy of spending 24 hours a day on cable news talking about himself. At the time, he got such a high profile that he announced he was exploring a run for president. Now, come on! A man that egotistical and self-promoting ... had a pretty good shot."

Well, "ladies and gentlemen, take off that Avenatti 2020 shirt, because today Avenatti was arrested for an alleged $20 million extortion scheme against Nike," Colbert said. "So everyone who comes in contact with Donald Trump becomes a criminal, is that how this works? ... First Mueller finds no collusion, now Avenatti gets arrested. Did Donald Trump recently find a genie? What's going to be his third wish?" He had two suggestions.

Colbert ran through the alleged "bold" scheme, including Avenatti's suggestion he was holding Nike's "balls" in his hands. "I did not realize holding your clients balls was a standard part of legal services," he joked. "I need a new attorney." He wrapped up by not making a Stormy Daniels joke.

"Wow, wow, wow," Trevor Noah said at The Daily Show. Avenatti "sends out a tweet, and then 14 minute later they arrested him. Sounds like everyone's fantasy of what should have happened to Donald Trump." Instead, it was a banner weekend for Trump. "Mueller is done; ISIS is done; Avenatti is done," he said. "Trump is winning so hard right now. Actually, can someone check on Hillary? Because at this rate, she's going to be locked up by the end of the day." Watch below. Peter Weber