Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles 2020

Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel have the 'real news' about Trump's rally, crowd size

President Trump's speech at his re-election rally in Orlando on Tuesday night "was a rambling hash of warmed-over 2016 road kill, and the media had one consistent criticism," that he's still running like it's 2016, Stephen Colbert said on Thursday's Late Show. "I know Trump dismisses any criticism from the media as 'fake news,' which is why we have our own in-house news team, 'Real News Tonight,'" always "dedicated to giving the president the exact kind of praise he wants to hear on the TV. And since our reporters, Jim Anchorton and Jill Newslady, are such huge fans of Trump, we sent these two down to Orlando, and they filed this story that the mainstream media doesn't want you to see."

Trump might not mind you watching most of their over-the-top fawning report, but not the part about his less-than-capacity crowd. "Not an empty seat in the house," Anchorton said, with several rows of empty seats visible behind him.

"Trump was on Fox News last night, being lathered with love by Sean Hannity, and among other things the president boasted about the size of the crowd at his kickoff rally," Jimmy Kimmel said at Kimmel Live. Despite Trump's claim, he added, "we searched everywhere today, found no evidence they asked anyone not to come. In fact, he tweeted multiple times to say they'd have food trucks and big-screen TVs outside the arena. So anyway, the city officials in Orlando estimated the crowd at 19,792, so he's only off by about 100,000 people."

Still, Trump appears to know what he's doing, Kimmel added. "Trump has been raking it in since he announced his intent to be re-elected, they made almost $25 million the day after his pep rally. And there's plenty of exciting new merchandise for sale." He gawked at one shirt, and you can see why below. Peter Weber