"It was a bit of a rough day on Wall Street — the Dow Jones Industrial Average fell over 800 points," Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday's Late Show. "My condolences to the entire Jones family. Our economy will be missed." He used a Chumbawamba song to explain this week's especially volatile market, but he was as stumped as most people about the proximate cause of Wednesday's panic: the dreaded inverted yield curve. "Do you have any idea what that means?" Colbert asked. "If so, please tell me, because I have been watching TV all day long and I am still not getting it." He showed one chart that kind of made sense.
"Now one thing that is definitely not helping the world economy is Trump's trade war with China, but we may be getting some relief," thanks to Trump's delay of half of new tariffs until Dec. 15, giving retailers time to stock up on Christmas imports, Colbert said. "It's odd that Trump would back down to protect American consumers, because he's been clear about one thing all along," China is paying for the tariffs. He ran through some of the bizarre items you'll be able to import until Dec. 15, but "one product that has been dropped from Trump's tariff list permanently is Bibles," Colbert said, feigning shock. "Our Bibles come from China? No wonder Jesus is always talking about sharing everything with the poor: They're selling us commie Jesus!"
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
-
Markets notch worst quarter in years as new tariffs loomSpeed Read The S&P 500 is on track for its worst month since 2022 as investors brace for Trump's tariffs
-
Tesla Cybertrucks recalled over dislodging panelsSpeed Read Almost every Cybertruck in the US has been recalled over a stainless steel panel that could fall off
-
Crafting emporium Joann is going out of businessSpeed Read The 82-year-old fabric and crafts store will be closing all 800 of its stores
-
Trump's China tariffs start after Canada, Mexico pausesSpeed Read The president paused his tariffs on America's closest neighbors after speaking to their leaders, but his import tax on Chinese goods has taken effect
-
Chinese AI chatbot's rise slams US tech stocksSpeed Read The sudden popularity of a new AI chatbot from Chinese startup DeepSeek has sent U.S. tech stocks tumbling
-
US port strike averted with tentative labor dealSpeed Read The strike could have shut down major ports from Texas to Maine
-
Biden expected to block Japanese bid for US SteelSpeed Read The president is blocking the $14 billion acquisition of U.S. Steel by Japan's Nippon Steel, citing national security concerns
-
Judges block $25B Kroger-Albertsons mergerSpeed Read The proposed merger between the supermarket giants was stalled when judges overseeing two separate cases blocked the deal
