"The world is still on edge over escalating tensions between rival foreign powers that could at any moment erupt into a full-blown war, and everyone is asking the same harrowing questions: Can Harry and Meghan really leave the royal family?" Stephen Colbert deadpanned on Monday's Late Show. Last week, Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan announced they plan to "step back" from being senior royalty to become financially independent, "but like many millennials who move out, they will stay on the queen's Verizon family plan."
"The palace was shocked — shocked! — and so today the queen held a royal family summit to work out a future for Prince Harry and Meghan," Colbert said. And the queen's statement after the summit, that she and the other royals "are entirely supportive of Harry and Meghan's desire to create a new life as a young family" with a "more independent life," is "way nicer than the statements that came out of royal summits in the old days," he said, paraphrasing Henry VIII: "I'm starting a new religion so I can get divorced and kill my next wife."
Yes, Britain's royal family is "like the Kardashians with an occasional beheading," Trevor Noah said at The Daily Show, but Harry and Meghan announcing "they're no longer going to be on the family phone plan anymore" is "an unprecedented crisis." Meghan called into the meeting from Canada, he said, "and I'll be honest, I don't blame Meghan for not going. Because nothing good happens when white people invite you to the countryside."
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
On paper, the couple has a charmed life — us commoners "kiss frogs to try and become royalty," Noah said, but "for Harry and Meghan in particular, the reality of being a royal couple has been far from a fairy tale." That's largely due to Britain's tabloid press, he explained. "Now everyone is wondering what they will do to support themselves without any of that royal cash. Well, good news: Meghan's already got herself a job," thanks to some high-level "hustling" by Harry.
"I would have loved to have been a fly on the cucumber sandwich" at the queen's "Megxit" summit, Jimmy Kimmel said at Kimmel Live, but is the royal family really "upset that Harry and Meghan want to move out and become financially independent? Isn't that every parent's dream, to not have their 35-year-old kid still living with them?" Peter Weber
-
Israel starts Gaza assault, approves West Bank planSpeed Read Israel forces pushed into the outskirts of Gaza City and Netanyahu's government gave approval for a settlement to cut the occupied Palestinian territory in two
-
Conservatism is rising. Just look at the music.In the spotlight The radio reflects American culture
-
Brooklyn vs. the Beckhams: trouble in paradiseIn the Spotlight Scion of the Beckham clan and billionaire heiress wife Nicola Peltz staged an elaborate vow renewal – and none of his family were on the guest list
-
Trump says Smithsonian too focused on slavery's illsSpeed Read The president would prefer the museum to highlight 'success,' 'brightness' and 'the future'
-
Trump to host Kennedy Honors for Kiss, StalloneSpeed Read Actor Sylvester Stallone and the glam-rock band Kiss were among those named as this year's inductees
-
White House seeks to bend Smithsonian to Trump's viewSpeed Read The Smithsonian Institution's 21 museums are under review to ensure their content aligns with the president's interpretation of American history
-
Charlamagne Tha God irks Trump with Epstein talkSpeed Read The radio host said the Jeffrey Epstein scandal could help 'traditional conservatives' take back the Republican Party
-
CBS cancels Colbert's 'Late Show'Speed Read 'The Late Show with Stephen Colbert' is ending next year
-
Shakespeare not an absent spouse, study proposesspeed read A letter fragment suggests that the Shakespeares lived together all along, says scholar Matthew Steggle
-
New Mexico to investigate death of Gene Hackman, wifespeed read The Oscar-winning actor and his wife Betsy Arakawa were found dead in their home with no signs of foul play
-
Giant schnauzer wins top prize at Westminster showSpeed Read Monty won best in show at the 149th Westminster Kennel Club dog show
