"Democrats today made their opening arguments in the impeachment trial," and they "chose the president's favorite, Adam Schiff, to kick things off," Jimmy Kimmel said on Wednesday's Kimmel Live. "Schiff spoke for two and a half hours and made a very persuasive case. He had visual aids and everything," and he "quoted Hamilton so many times today, he was nominated for five Tony awards."
"There was some riveting stuff," but "the senators are said to be having trouble staying awake," including Sen. Jim Risch (R-Idaho), sketched fast asleep, Kimmel said. "A spokesman for Sen. Risch said he wasn't sleeping, he was just listening closely — which is exactly what my grandmother used to say. ... But if he did nod off, I don't blame him. Democrats have a clear strategy in place: They believe that if they talk for long enough, Mitch McConnell will eventually die of old age and they'll have a shot at a real trial, which this is not."
Tuesday's session "lasted 13 hours," Jimmy Fallon said at The Tonight Show. "And out of habit, once the trial lasted more than four hours, every old senator panicked and called their doctor."
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"One of the articles against Trump is something called obstruction of Congress, because the White House is withholding all the materials needed and requested to investigate Trump's Ukraine scheme," Stephen Colbert said at The Late Show. "Apparently, Trump's pretty proud of that particular crime."
Trump also told reporters Wednesday he'd love to see former National Security Adviser John Bolton testify in his impeachment trial, then backtracked, The Daily Show's Trevor Noah said. Trump started "with the fake excuse but then he'll just keep going until you learn the real reason. Just, like: 'Sadly, we can't hear from Bolton because it's a national security thing, and also he'll reveal what I think about other world leaders, and also he hates my guts, and also he'll implicate me in the crimes that I committed.'"
Back at the trial, Rep. Hakeem Jeffries (D-N.Y.) "quoted Biggie on the floor of Congress," Noah cheered. "Hip hop has come a long way. Think about it: In the '80s and '90s, it was considered gangsta music, and now it's being quoted in an impeachment trial." He imagined McConnell rapping.
The Late Show turned that idea into a full-on rap battle by Trump's defense team. Watch below. Peter Weber
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