"The opening arguments wrapped up today in Donald Trump's impeachment trial," Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday's Late Show, and "all that's left is all the arguing, mostly about witnesses. Mitch McConnell doesn't want any, and it looked like all the Republicans were going to fall in line" — until news broke Sunday of former National Security Adviser John Bolton's quid pro quo bombshell.
"Bolton claims that the leaks have nothing to do with boosting the sales of his book, but people are suspicious, especially considering the quotes leaked the same day the Amazon product page for the book went live," Colbert said. "Now we know how to get Trump's people to tell the truth: Give them a product to promote. Mick Mulvaney, come on my show and I will play a clip from your new Disney movie, Frozen Military Aid." He sang a snippet of the movie's hit song, "Quid Pro Quo."
Bolton "says he saw Trump do what he is being accused of doing firsthand, and most of the Republican senators are like, 'Eh, we don't need to talk to him, let's go home already,'" Jimmy Kimmel said at Kimmel Live. "But the coalition is cracking," and McConnell now says he doesn't yet have the 51 votes to block Bolton's testimony. Kimmel offered a kind of milk-and-Twinkies quid pro quo to Sen. Mitt Romney (R-Utah), a leader of the GOP's let-Bolton-testify faction. "That's right, the Mitt is about to hit the tan," he said.
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Yes, "Bolton has now thrown a wrench into Trump's impeachment trial, which has been a major topic of discussion among Trump's most trusted advisers, Fox News," Trevor Noah said at The Daily Show. "Not too long ago, John Bolton was clearly part of the Fox family," like "the goofy uncle who just wants to have fun and wipe Iran off the planet, but now that Bolton's allegations could hurt President Trump, Fox News has made it very clear that he is no longer invited to the family cookout." He focused on Lou Dobbs and his journey from "Bolton's No. 1 fan" to thrashing him as a "tool of the left."
"I'm not saying Trump wants this book to disappear, but he just bought all the copies and threw them in Jeffrey Epstein's prison cell," The Tonight Show's Jimmy Fallon joked. Watch his Senate GOP excuse generator for not calling Bolton as a witness below. Peter Weber
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