Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles Trump versus Democrats

Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers aren't big fans of Trump's 'secret police' invading Portland

The U.S. coronavirus pandemic continues to rage out of control, despite the nonexistent effort of President Trump and his administration, Stephen Colbert said on Monday's Late Show. "Now, you might be thinking, 'Hey Stephen, they've completely shanked this pandemic, if only someone was on TV every day lying about it.' Well, great news, because Trump is bringing back coronavirus briefings."

"We got a preview of what the new coronavirus briefings will be like yesterday, when Trump did an interview on Fox News Sunday on Sunday on Fox News," and Chris Wallace wasn't grading on the usual Fox News curve, Colbert said. Things "got really sad" when Trump bragged again about passing a cognitive test, he said. "It's chilling to see the most powerful man in the world bragging that he passed a test that they give to people to find out whether they should be allowed to take the bus by themselves." He gave real examples of the questions Trump said were "hard."

"And just when you thought the Trump presidency couldn't get any darker, we now have horrifying footage from Portland, Oregon, of masked, unidentified federal troops snatching protesters off the streets without a warrant or any probable cause, and throwing them into unmarked vehicles," Colbert said. "Obviously, this is chilling. But also: minivans? Really?" Acting Homeland Security leaders say the agents are nameless to protect their family, and "it goes without saying, doxxing is bad," he said. "I wish it went without saying that having a secret police is way worse. And no, the Trumpstapo is not saying they're 'just following orders,' they're saying they're just following executive orders."

Seth Meyers found Trump's Chris Wallace interview "truly terrifying," he said on Late Night. But not as alarming as Trump sending "secret police to an American city to snatch protesters off the streets."

It's bad enough that Trump's personal "paramilitary force" is "kidnapping protesters and stuffing them into unmarked vans" in Portland — and soon, other blue cities — but his justification is also nonsense, Meyer said, nodding to Portlandia: "People in Portland are anything but anarchists. Restaurants in Portland have more rules than a Manhattan co-op board. If you don't put your banana peel in the compost bin, they'll drive you to the city limits in a solar-powered car and leave you there." Watch below. Peter Weber