"Last night, the Democrats kicked things off with one of the most electrifying infomercials of the year," Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday's live, post-convention Late Show, probably half-joking. The theme of Tuesday's convention was "'Leadership Matters' — which, of course, forced the GOP to rename the second night of their convention 'All Qualities Matter!' It was a magical evening. We saw roll-in packages about women's suffrage, America's health care crisis, and a beautiful travelogue of Joe Biden's hairline — it's evidently been on quite a journey these last 50 years."
Colbert ran through and commented on the night's roster of speakers, from up-and-comers like Alexandria Ocaiso-Cortez (briefly) and Stacey Abrams to former President Bill Clinton, plus the colorful roll call from all 50 states and seven territories. "Most exciting of all, Rhode Island brought the apps!" he said, specifically (and delightfully), calamari.
"Tonight's closer was the nominee's spouse, Dr. Jill Biden," Colbert said. "As first lady, Dr. Biden would bring dedication, resilience, and, of course, Joe's favorite snack," her fingers. "Joe told the story of how he had to ask for Jill's hand in marriage multiple times," he noted, "much like Democratic voters. Joe ran for president three times, and they finally went, 'Okay.'" The newly minted nominee himself stepped in at the end and made sure everyone knew that Jill Biden, praised by her grandchildren for her reptile-based practical jokes, would be a "first lady — lady, lady, lady," Colbert said, feigning horror. "No, Joe! If you say 'lady' four times in a mirror, Jill Biden shows up behind you with a dead snake!" Watch below. Peter Weber
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