"The past 24 hours have been poller coaster of emotions and nausea," Jimmy Kimmel said on Wednesday's Kimmel Live. "You know, I thought if your election lasted more than 48 hours, you were supposed to seek medical attention. ... Why did we believe the polls again?"
"It isn't official yet, but all signs are pointing to a Joe Biden win, everyone seems to know it — everyone except for Donald Trump," Kimmel said. Clearly, "Trump is going to make the end of this as difficult and painful and damaging to this country as he possibly can, because he can't admit he's a loser."
"Come on, it's 2020 — did you really think last night would end up wrapped up with a neat little bow?" Jimmy Fallon asked at The Tonight Show. Biden urged everyone to have patience while all the votes are counted, "but I'm not sure it's one of America's strengths. I mean, if a TikTok video isn't fun in the first three seconds, we're like, nah, next." Meanwhile, he said, "Trump claimed the election is 'a fraud' and 'an embarrassment' and then declared victory. "
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"Gosh, I hope this doesn't overshadow me declaring myself People magazine's 'Sexiest Man Alive!'" Stephen Colbert joked at The Late Show. Trump declaring victory and saying he'll ask the Supreme Court to stop millions of lawful votes from being counted is "a power grab by a terrified strongman in the dead of night. Classic. If there's anything 2 a.m. is known for, it's desperate moves by sad little men who are afraid to go home feeling like a loser."
The Late Show also turned Trump's premature victory speech into a Sesame Street song.
"Joe Biden looks like he is on pace to become the 46th president of the United States," and "needless to say, Donald Trump was upset," Trevor Noah said at The Daily Show. "Still, can we just take a moment to admit that it is insane that an American president is just demanding that they stop counting votes while he's ahead. This is a textbook authoritarian move, which is impressive coming from a guy who's never read a textbook. And I gotta say, for a guy who hates 'sh-thole countries,' Trump really likes to jack their style. I mean I never thought I'd see the day when someone yelling at me to go back to Africa sounded more like a concern for my rights instead of a threat."
On Full Frontal, Samantha Bee and her cast acted out three election endings, Wayne's World-style. Watch below. Peter Weber
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