Speed Reads

last night on late night

Late night hosts could totally believe Matt Gaetz is dim enough to publicly Venmo young women for sex

Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.) "has been under fire since news broke of him being under investigation over possible sex trafficking — but like a Karen in a Bath & Body Works, he refuses to back down," Trevor Noah said on Monday's Daily Show. "We have to wait for all the facts to come in," but it's already "not a good look for Matt Gaetz" that "he Venmo's $900 to his sleazy friend, and then that same friend Venmo's it to three young women for 'tuition.'"

And "it looks like Matt Gaetz is so stupid that he might have paid girls for sex on Venmo!" Noah said. "I mean, you think you know a guy, and then it turns out yeah, you totally do know him. ... Nobody writes the real thing for a Venmo payment, all right? You always write something funny or weird," or just use emojis, he added. "You'd think a guy who hangs out with teens would know that."

The Late Show had a surefire fix: "Sexno."

"Doing crimes on an app? How dumb are these guys?" Stephen Colbert asked at The Late Show. "It's like organizing a hit on 'Words With Friends.'" And sure, that already "seems incredibly stupid and incriminating," but "the icing on this stupid, stupid cake: At the time, all these interactions could be viewed on Gaetz's public Venmo page."

"Let he who has never Venmo'd a prostitute cast the first stone," Jimmy Kimmel quipped at Kimmel Live. "Sadly for Matt," he "was reportedly denied a meeting with Trump at Mar-a-Lago, which, that has to be a heartbreaker. Matt Gaetz was like the son Donald Trump never had; now he's getting treated like the sons he does have."

Seriously, "how toxic do you have to be for Trump to not want to meet with you?" Kimmel marveled. "He's literally pen pals with Kim Jong Un. He once invited the Taliban for a weekend of glamping at Camp David, and now he won't let Matt Gaetz come see him. ... Asking Trump for a favor is like asking a Nigerian prince for a refund."

Of course "Trump's dodging Gaetz after Gaetz spent years parroting Trump's most unhinged lies," Seth Meyers said at Late Night. "Next thing you know, Trump's going to start act like he doesn't even know Matt Gaetz's name." Which, Meyers showed, already happened last October. Watch below. Peter Weber