"Today, President Biden met with six state governors to discuss ways that they can get more Americans vaccinated," Jimmy Fallon said on Tuesday's Tonight Show. "They spent about 15 minutes coming up with ideas and three hours talking about if Bennifer is back." The Biden administration "is teaming up with McDonald's to raise vaccine awareness, so get ready for the all new McDerna," he joked. "You know we're living through historic times when McDonald's is giving public health advice."
"Meanwhile, over in Italy, a nurse accidentally gave a woman six doses of the Pfizer vaccine in one shot," Fallon said. "I'm 99 percent sure this is how every Marvel movie starts."
The six-dose vaccine shot "was all part of Olive Garden's famous promotion, unlimited needle sticks!" Stephen Colbert said at The Late Show. "There are so many hopeful signs, at long last, that America may be emerging from the pandemic," including that "more than 58 percent of U.S. adults have received at least one shot," kids 12-15 will soon be eligible for the Pfizer vaccine, "and Bennifer is back! Nature is healing."
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New York City will start vaccinating people at subway stops, and Biden announced Tuesday that Uber and Lyft will drive people to and from vaccination appointments for free, Colbert noted. "This is great for patients and even greater for any Uber drivers who have thought, 'I love working during the pandemic but I just wish there was a way to make sure that 100 percent of my passengers were unvaccinated.'"
The Late Show also found a cure for another contagious disease, "Foxitis."
Vaccination drives are "just what the subway needs: More random band-aids and needles on the ground," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. New York City is also incentivizing vaccinations with "free food, free tickets to events, and the opportunity for one lucky vaccinee to to be starting quarterback for the New York Jets this season."
"Here in California, Caitlyn Jenner's learning that running for governor isn't exactly like running in the Olympics," Kimmel said. "She is polling at 6 percent in our upcoming recall election, well behind two other Republicans. You know who those other Republicans are who are ahead of Caitlyn Jenner? No, no one does, no one has any idea, because none of them were on the E! network." He ended with a surprise for the menthol soap guy who went viral on TikTok. Watch below. Peter Weber
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