Speed Reads

Last Night on Late Night

Late night hosts feign shock that Trump and Rudy Giuliani are in hot water for various fraud allegations

President Biden was inaugurated one year ago Thursday, and "to mark the occasion, for some reason he held a press conference today," Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday's Late Show. "Then again, he's 79, I guess he's always going to go for the early bird special."

Meanwhile, New York Attorney General Letitia James announced "her office has uncovered significant evidence that the former president fraudulently valued multiple assets," including claiming his 11,000-square-foot penthouse was 30,000 square feet, Colbert said. "That's not surprise, he's known for falsely tripling the size of his assets."

Still, Donald Trump's "biggest fraud continues to be his claim that he won re-election," Colbert added. "The House select committee on Jan. 6 is busy getting to the bottom that lie, and yesterday they subpoenaed Rudy Giuliani."

"You could tell Rudy's not a very good lawyer because the first thing he did was google 'what is a subpoena?'" Jimmy Fallon joked at The Tonight Show. "Meanwhile, if you google 'Giuliani subpoena,' they show you a clip from the Borat movie."

Subpoenaing Giuliani "is unnecessary — all they need to do is say his name three times in the mirror, and he will appear," Jimmy Kimmel quipped on Kimmel Live. "One year ago today, Donald Trump was still in the White House, throwing chicken nuggets at the TV, and one year from today he could be in jail," he added. "The walls appear to be closing in on Trump — big, beautiful walls. Mexico's like, 'Let us know if you need us to chip in with that, muchachos.'" Kimmel feigned shock between clips of past Trump fraud cases.

"You know how when people are shocked, they spit out their water?"  Seth Meyers asked on Late Night. "When I heard Donald Trump exaggerated the value of his assets for the purposes of lying to banks and the IRS, it was so the reverse of shocking, I sucked the water back into my mouth." (There's video.)

Trump shouldn't have exaggerated the value of his apartment by $200 million, Trevor Noah said on The Daily Show. "But I can't get mad at him for this, because deep down he's just a landlord. And this is what every landlord in New York does. They'll say an apartment has three bedrooms, and then you get there and two of the bedrooms are somehow in the kitchen, but it's still the best deal for your budget so you sleep in the dishwasher."