Speed Reads

Last night on late night

Late night hosts tackle Mike Lindell's failed Canadian pillow attack, Melania's adventures with NFTs

Russia appears to be getting even readier to invade Ukraine, and "speaking of international conflicts, the Olympics," Stephen Colbert said on The Late Show. Because a Russian doping scandal has postponed the team skating medals, the Beijing organizers are giving medalists commemorative Olympic torches. 'Yes, that's the smart thing to do when you've really pissed someone off, hand them a torch," he said. "Evidently they were out of Olympic pitchforks."

Colbert moved on to a softer target.

"A bunch of Canadian truckers continue to protest vaccine mandates," and while "Ottawa residents have had enough," MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell wanted to drive the protesters 10,000 MyPillows in a truck, Colbert said. He was immediately turned away at the border, but Lindell has a backup plan — "he's going to drop them from the sky via helicopter." A plan with a potential flaw: "Canadian border guards are stopping him from driving into the country, so he's playing it safe by using a helicopter to violate their airspace? Good thing he's got those 10,000 pillows — they can cushion the fall when the Canadian Air Force shoots his ass down."

Melania Trump, meanwhile, recently "held an auction for a collection of NFTs on the Solana blockchain," selling a hat and images of her wearing the hat, Colbert said. "Now, the minimum bid was supposed to be about $250,000" in a volatile cryptocurrency, "but despite the currency fluctuations, Melania's hat got a buyer — and the winner was . . . Melania."

Yes, while the rest of the Trump family "is doing their be-best to avoid prison, Melania is selling NFTs," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. "Until today I though a blockchain was what Melania had on her bedroom door to protect her from the bored ape in the next room." 

Pillow maven Lindell "claimed he was trolling the reporter" with the helicopter plan, but he appears to be serious "about launching a pillow attack on Canada," Kimmel said. "Who would've ever guess his voter fraud crusade would wind up being the second-craziest thing he's done."

Fellow election-fraud conspiracist Rudy Giuliani told Eminem he should leave the country for taking a knee at the Super Bowl, and The Late Show gave "Eminem" a chance to respond.

And on Full Frontal, host Samantha Bee "sent Allana Harkin to find out what football can teach us about our other full-contact sport, politics" — and Harkin came away hope-adjacent.