Opinion

The best headlines of 2021

The clever, the strange, and the downright bizarre

Let's be honest: Most headlines in 2021 were not very nice.

But just when you felt overwhelmed by the bombardment of news — about the pandemic and the Capitol insurrection and climate change — there'd be a hilarious headline about a mistranslation involving Adam Driver, or a zebra getaway in Maryland, or an eel that punnily ate a "squid from a clamp."

Here are the headlines that made us laugh and kept us sane in 2021. 

  • Cate Blanchett wins permission for meditation room at her 'haunted' £4.9m Sussex mansion despite discovery of bat colony [Daily Mail]
  • Joe the pigeon may be spared death amid speculation he's not from the U.S. [9 News]
  • 15 people catch COVID-19 after reportedly attending cat's birthday party [New York Post]
  • Scientists have taught spinach to send emails. It doesn't involve a computer. [News 18]
  • Ignore the rumor about Adam Driver supposedly assaulting a woman with a folding chair, it was a mistranslation [Jezebel]
  • Young Florida women dressed as grannies to get coronavirus vaccine — and it may have worked [ClickOrlando.com]
  • Texas Department of Public Safety mistakenly sends Amber Alert for Chucky doll — 3 times [Associated Press]
  • Wanted man quits lockdown at home for 'peace and quiet' in prison [The Guardian]
  • Teen reunited with pet rooster lost at Alabama Cracker Barrel after Civil War reenactment [AL.com]
  • Surly seal spotted on Charlottetown sidewalk apprehended by police [CBC]
  • Apple study affirms that women do in fact have cramps during their periods [Gizmodo]
  • Susan Sarandon wants to date someone vaccinated against COVID: 'I don't care if it's a man or a woman' [People]
  • Italian mafia fugitive caught after posting cooking show on YouTube [BBC]
  • $500,000 Confederate chair stolen from Alabama cemetery used as toilet, will be returned tonight [AL.com]
  • Tui plane in 'serious incident' after every 'Miss' on board was assigned child's weight [The Guardian]
  • Mysterious headless tree 'beast' revealed to be discarded croissant [The First News]
  • Italian hospital employee accused of skipping work for 15 years [BBC]
  • Hundreds of Joshes fight in field to crown one true Josh [Metro]
  • AI designed to distinguish croissants from crullers and other pastries proves capable of identifying cancerous cells on microscope slides with 99 percent accuracy [The Daily Mail]
  • California condors are very rare, but 10 percent of them are trashing this woman's house [CBC]
  • Domino's is bringing back the Noid, a mascot that once drove a man to take hostages [The Washington Post]
  • Japanese town spent COVID-19 relief funds on building a statue of a giant squid [CNN]
  • A wandering tiger unnerved Houston. The man who fled with it is a murder suspect. [The New York Times]
  • Man charged with wife's murder illegally cast her ballot for Trump, officials say: 'I just thought, give him another vote' [The Washington Post]
  • Woman shares 'abandoned mall' she found under her Airbnb [Newsweek]
  • Tentacles of Manhattan DA's Trump probe reach former bodyguard Calamari [NBC News]
  • Exorcism at Home Depot was for dead trees in lumber aisle [Patch]
  • Apple's weather app won't say it's 69 degrees [The Verge]
  • Man, 26, lucky to be alive after leaping off 100ft bridge while 'bored in traffic' [The Independent]
  • Officials hope to capture loose zebras with new plan involving even more zebras [WUSA9]
  • Man eaten by piranhas after jumping into lake to escape bees [9 News]
  • Florida man tried robbing Waffle House with finger guns, sheriff says [WFLA]
  • Woman climbs over barrier in Bronx Zoo's lion exhibit, throws money in the air [NBC News]
  • Walmart pulls children's toy off its website that swears and sings in Polish about doing cocaine [CTV News]
  • Possum released without charges after holding woman hostage [Vice]
  • Woman caught breastfeeding her hairless cat on a Delta flight [New York Post]
  • Italian man tries to dodge COVID vaccine wearing fake arm [The Guardian]
  • You have no idea how hard it is to get a hamster drunk [The Atlantic]

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