Opinion

The best headlines of 2021

The clever, the strange, and the downright bizarre

Let's be honest: Most headlines in 2021 were not very nice.

But just when you felt overwhelmed by the bombardment of news — about the pandemic and the Capitol insurrection and climate change — there'd be a hilarious headline about a mistranslation involving Adam Driver, or a zebra getaway in Maryland, or an eel that punnily ate a "squid from a clamp."

Here are the headlines that made us laugh and kept us sane in 2021. 

  • Cate Blanchett wins permission for meditation room at her 'haunted' £4.9m Sussex mansion despite discovery of bat colony [Daily Mail]
  • Joe the pigeon may be spared death amid speculation he's not from the U.S. [9 News]
  • 15 people catch COVID-19 after reportedly attending cat's birthday party [New York Post]
  • Scientists have taught spinach to send emails. It doesn't involve a computer. [News 18]
  • Ignore the rumor about Adam Driver supposedly assaulting a woman with a folding chair, it was a mistranslation [Jezebel]
  • Young Florida women dressed as grannies to get coronavirus vaccine — and it may have worked [ClickOrlando.com]
  • Texas Department of Public Safety mistakenly sends Amber Alert for Chucky doll — 3 times [Associated Press]
  • Wanted man quits lockdown at home for 'peace and quiet' in prison [The Guardian]
  • Teen reunited with pet rooster lost at Alabama Cracker Barrel after Civil War reenactment [AL.com]
  • Surly seal spotted on Charlottetown sidewalk apprehended by police [CBC]
  • Apple study affirms that women do in fact have cramps during their periods [Gizmodo]
  • Susan Sarandon wants to date someone vaccinated against COVID: 'I don't care if it's a man or a woman' [People]
  • Italian mafia fugitive caught after posting cooking show on YouTube [BBC]
  • $500,000 Confederate chair stolen from Alabama cemetery used as toilet, will be returned tonight [AL.com]
  • Tui plane in 'serious incident' after every 'Miss' on board was assigned child's weight [The Guardian]
  • Mysterious headless tree 'beast' revealed to be discarded croissant [The First News]
  • Italian hospital employee accused of skipping work for 15 years [BBC]
  • Hundreds of Joshes fight in field to crown one true Josh [Metro]
  • AI designed to distinguish croissants from crullers and other pastries proves capable of identifying cancerous cells on microscope slides with 99 percent accuracy [The Daily Mail]
  • California condors are very rare, but 10 percent of them are trashing this woman's house [CBC]
  • Domino's is bringing back the Noid, a mascot that once drove a man to take hostages [The Washington Post]
  • Japanese town spent COVID-19 relief funds on building a statue of a giant squid [CNN]
  • A wandering tiger unnerved Houston. The man who fled with it is a murder suspect. [The New York Times]
  • Man charged with wife's murder illegally cast her ballot for Trump, officials say: 'I just thought, give him another vote' [The Washington Post]
  • Woman shares 'abandoned mall' she found under her Airbnb [Newsweek]
  • Tentacles of Manhattan DA's Trump probe reach former bodyguard Calamari [NBC News]
  • Exorcism at Home Depot was for dead trees in lumber aisle [Patch]
  • Apple's weather app won't say it's 69 degrees [The Verge]
  • Man, 26, lucky to be alive after leaping off 100ft bridge while 'bored in traffic' [The Independent]
  • Officials hope to capture loose zebras with new plan involving even more zebras [WUSA9]
  • Man eaten by piranhas after jumping into lake to escape bees [9 News]
  • Florida man tried robbing Waffle House with finger guns, sheriff says [WFLA]
  • Woman climbs over barrier in Bronx Zoo's lion exhibit, throws money in the air [NBC News]
  • Walmart pulls children's toy off its website that swears and sings in Polish about doing cocaine [CTV News]
  • Possum released without charges after holding woman hostage [Vice]
  • Woman caught breastfeeding her hairless cat on a Delta flight [New York Post]
  • Italian man tries to dodge COVID vaccine wearing fake arm [The Guardian]
  • You have no idea how hard it is to get a hamster drunk [The Atlantic]

More From...

Picture of Jeva LangeJeva Lange
Read All
9 books to read in 2022
A reader.
Opinion

9 books to read in 2022

2021: The year of ____
Figures of 2021.
Opinion

2021: The year of ____

Putin requests Thursday call with Biden amid ongoing Ukraine tensions
Biden and Putin.
Speed Reads

Putin requests Thursday call with Biden amid ongoing Ukraine tensions

Champagne in short supply ahead of New Year's Eve
Champagne
but why is the champagne gone?

Champagne in short supply ahead of New Year's Eve

Recommended

French lawmakers approve vaccine pass
French President Emmanuel Macron
vous shall not pass

French lawmakers approve vaccine pass

Report: Netanyahu negotiating plea deal in corruption case
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu
corruption disruption

Report: Netanyahu negotiating plea deal in corruption case

Ukraine blames Russia for cyberattack
Ukrainian military drill
virtual warfare

Ukraine blames Russia for cyberattack

2 dead from flooding in Peru as damage to Tonga remains unclear
Ash cloud off the coast of Tonga
"like a moonscape"

2 dead from flooding in Peru as damage to Tonga remains unclear

Most Popular

Will 2022 bring another Miracle on Ice?
The Miracle on Ice.
Samuel Goldman

Will 2022 bring another Miracle on Ice?

Omicron may be headed for a sharp drop because so many people are infected
Dr. Janet Woodcock
Omicron Blues

Omicron may be headed for a sharp drop because so many people are infected

California deputy DA opposed to vaccine mandates dies of COVID-19
Kelly Ernby.
covid-19

California deputy DA opposed to vaccine mandates dies of COVID-19