The best headlines of 2021

A newsboy. — (Image credit: Illustrated | Library of Congress, iStock)

Let's be honest: Most headlines in 2021 were not very nice.

But just when you felt overwhelmed by the bombardment of news — about the pandemic and the Capitol insurrection and climate change — there'd be a hilarious headline about a mistranslation involving Adam Driver, or a zebra getaway in Maryland, or an eel that punnily ate a "squid from a clamp."

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Cate Blanchett wins permission for meditation room at her 'haunted' £4.9m Sussex mansion despite discovery of bat colony [Daily Mail]
Queens man impeached — again [Queens Eagle]
Joe the pigeon may be spared death amid speculation he's not from the U.S. [9 News]
15 people catch COVID-19 after reportedly attending cat's birthday party [New York Post]
Scientists have taught spinach to send emails. It doesn't involve a computer. [News 18]
Ignore the rumor about Adam Driver supposedly assaulting a woman with a folding chair, it was a mistranslation [Jezebel]
Texas Department of Public Safety mistakenly sends Amber Alert for Chucky doll — 3 times [Associated Press]
Wanted man quits lockdown at home for 'peace and quiet' in prison [The Guardian]
Teen reunited with pet rooster lost at Alabama Cracker Barrel after Civil War reenactment [AL.com]
Surly seal spotted on Charlottetown sidewalk apprehended by police [CBC]
Boot fills Foot's boots as Shoe Zone finance boss [The Evening Standard]
Apple study affirms that women do in fact have cramps during their periods [Gizmodo]
Susan Sarandon wants to date someone vaccinated against COVID: 'I don't care if it's a man or a woman' [People]
Italian mafia fugitive caught after posting cooking show on YouTube [BBC]
$500,000 Confederate chair stolen from Alabama cemetery used as toilet, will be returned tonight [AL.com]
Tui plane in 'serious incident' after every 'Miss' on board was assigned child's weight [The Guardian]
Mysterious headless tree 'beast' revealed to be discarded croissant [The First News]
Italian hospital employee accused of skipping work for 15 years [BBC]
Hundreds of Joshes fight in field to crown one true Josh [Metro]
AI designed to distinguish croissants from crullers and other pastries proves capable of identifying cancerous cells on microscope slides with 99 percent accuracy [The Daily Mail]
California condors are very rare, but 10 percent of them are trashing this woman's house [CBC]
Domino's is bringing back the Noid, a mascot that once drove a man to take hostages [The Washington Post]
Japanese town spent COVID-19 relief funds on building a statue of a giant squid [CNN]
A wandering tiger unnerved Houston. The man who fled with it is a murder suspect. [The New York Times]
Man charged with wife's murder illegally cast her ballot for Trump, officials say: 'I just thought, give him another vote' [The Washington Post]
Woman shares 'abandoned mall' she found under her Airbnb [Newsweek]
A fungus could turn some cicadas into sex-crazed 'salt shakers of death' [The Washington Post]
When an eel climbs a ramp to eat squid from a clamp, that's a moray [The New York Times]
Tentacles of Manhattan DA's Trump probe reach former bodyguard Calamari [NBC News]
Exorcism at Home Depot was for dead trees in lumber aisle [Patch]
Apple's weather app won't say it's 69 degrees [The Verge]
Officials hope to capture loose zebras with new plan involving even more zebras [WUSA9]
Man eaten by piranhas after jumping into lake to escape bees [9 News]
Florida man tried robbing Waffle House with finger guns, sheriff says [WFLA]
Woman climbs over barrier in Bronx Zoo's lion exhibit, throws money in the air [NBC News]
Walmart pulls children's toy off its website that swears and sings in Polish about doing cocaine [CTV News]
Possum released without charges after holding woman hostage [Vice]
Woman caught breastfeeding her hairless cat on a Delta flight [New York Post]
Italian man tries to dodge COVID vaccine wearing fake arm [The Guardian]
You have no idea how hard it is to get a hamster drunk [The Atlantic]

Jeva Lange was the executive editor at TheWeek.com. She formerly served as The Week's deputy editor and culture critic. She is also a contributor to Screen Slate, and her writing has appeared in The New York Daily News, The Awl, Vice, and Gothamist, among other publications. Jeva lives in New York City. Follow her on Twitter.