Come and get it
April 23, 2014

Celebrity chef, supermarket-themed game show host, and king of middle-American indulgence Guy Fieri is known for his eccentric menus (and his bowling shirts). But we're here to talk about his menus, specifically the newly released menu for his new Las Vegas restaurant.

This menu doesn't mess around, brah. It's jam-packed with all sorts of "bold flavors" and dips and sauces and smears and meat and meat and oh, the humanity, so much more meat.

Allow me to set your mouth a-watering with these "gnarly" offerings:

Real item: Guy-talian Fondue Dippers
"Pepperoni-wrapped breadstick twists served alongside our smoky provolone + sausage cheese dip, topped with fresh tomato bruschetta."
Synopsis: Meat you dip in more meat.

Real item: The Guy-talian Deli Salad
"We have built this salad in a crown of prosciutto-wrapped smoked provolone! Filled with crisp romaine lettuce, imported Italian meats & cheeses, pickled Italian veggies + tossed in a red wine vinaigrette."
Synopsis: Meaty salad served in a meat bowl.

Real item: The Mayor of Flavortown Burger
"The meat blanket of seasoned pastrami sends this burger outta bounds. Swiss, caraway seed slaw, dill pickles, onion straws, Dijon mustard + an 'awesome pretzel bun' finish off this bad boy."
Synopsis: Meat blanket? Meat blanket.

Real item: The Triple B Burger
"Go big or go home! Kicked up with Creole blackened spice & topped with blue cheese, ancho bacon, ITOP + a generous smear of Guy's famous donkey sauce."
Synopsis: "Generous smear," and "famous donkey sauce" speak for themselves.

Real item: Tatted-Up Turkey Burger
"This burger is a work of art like Guy's tattoos. Smash-grilled with poblanos & pepper jack. Topped with gouda, ancho bacon, sweet pepper red onion jam, LTOP, donkey sauce + served on an 'awesome pretzel' bun."
Synopsis: Here are Guy Fieri's bad tattoos. Now imagine the food equivalent of Guy Fieri's bad tattoos.

Real item: Fireball Whiskey Wings
"These wings are certainly not for the faint of heart & should probably be illegal. Classic buffalo sauce + fireball whiskey meet to ignite a flavor explosion of epic proportions. Try Guy's blue-sabi sauce to put out the fire!"
Synopsis: Wings covered in cloying cinnamon whiskey; should actually be illegal

Real item: Guy's Cheesecake Challenge
"A huge mountain of cheesecake topped with potato chips, pretzels + hot fudge."
Synopsis: A dessert topped with two snacks and another dessert. Jon Terbush

2016 Watch
1:44 p.m. ET

Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) has run a presidential campaign plagued by low poll numbers, weak fundraising efforts, and lackluster debate performances. Recently, he's been pouring more fundraising energy into his Senate re-election bid, which he's running simultaneously to his effort to win the Republican presidential nomination.

But Paul insisted he's not going anywhere in a Sunday interview on Fox News' Media Buzz.

"I think the rumors of my demise are somewhat exaggerated, to say the least," he said.

Paul also took a shot at Republican frontrunner Donald Trump, who predicted Paul's downfall in a September tweet.

"We run a tight ship around here," Paul said. "We plan on being in for the long hall, and I think ultimately celebrity will sort of filter out of this."

Watch Paul's full interview here. Julie Kliegman

Israel and Palestine
1:10 p.m. ET
Musa Al-Shaer/AFP/Getty Images)

Israeli authorities banned Palestinians — including Jerusalem residents — from entering the capital's Old City on Sunday, The New York Times reports.

The only exception to the ban was reportedly for Palestinians who wanted to worship at the Al Aqsa Mosque, where men under 50 are not typically allowed.

About 3,500 police officers in Jerusalem closed off some of the capital's Arab neighborhoods Sunday. The move came after the second deadly Palestinian attack on Israeli families in three days, where two ultra-Orthodox men were fatally stabbed. Julie Kliegman

squad goals
12:34 p.m. ET

The bad blood between pop stars Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus might run even deeper than previously thought. When Cyrus hosted Saturday Night Live, the show devoted a whole segment to relentlessly mocking her colleague's ever-growing squad.

On her 1989 tour, Swift has garnered attention for a mile-long list of invitations for celebrities to join her on stage: Lena Dunham, Uzo Aduba, Julia Roberts, Keith Urban, and Kobe Bryant, to name a very small fraction.

In a post-apocalyptic sketch that feels way too real, SNL dared to imagine what will happen when everyone forcibly joins Swift's cult.

Vanessa Bayer woke up in a dark, dark world where the few remaining survivors live in constant fear of being abducted to join Swift on stage.

"First it was the models. And then the athletes," a distraught Kenan Thompson said, moments before his own abduction. "Then it was everybody."

Watch your imminent demise unfold below. Julie Kliegman

lgbt rights
11:27 a.m. ET
Leigh Vogel/Getty Images

Vice President Joe Biden said transgender people should be able to serve openly in the military, a stance that goes beyond anything the Obama administration has said before, The Associated Press reports.

"It's simple," Biden said at the Human Rights Campaign gala Saturday night. "All Americans are qualified to serve, should be able to serve."

In July, Defense Secretary Ash Carter ordered a review of the policy banning transgender people from service.

Biden is known for supporting LGBT rights more vocally than other prominent Democrats. In 2012, he backed same-sex marriage before President Obama and Hillary Clinton did.

The vice president, who is still deciding whether to enter the 2016 race, also used the keynote as a chance to slam his would-be Republican opponents.

After noting how far the U.S. has come in supporting LGBT rights, Biden added a wry caveat: "There's homophobes still left — most of them are running for president." Julie Kliegman

School Shootings
10:56 a.m. ET

Republican frontrunner Donald Trump doesn't believe stricter gun control would result in fewer mass shootings, he said Sunday on NBC's Meet the Press. In fact, he thinks more guns could be the answer to stop gunmen like Christopher Harper-Mercer, who fatally shot nine people at an Oregon community college Thursday.

"I can make the case that if there were guns in that room other than his, fewer people would've died, fewer people would've been so horribly injured," he told Chuck Todd.

Both on NBC and in a similar interview on ABC's This Week, Trump blamed gun violence on mental illness.

"No matter how you cut it, you have people that are mentally ill, and they have problems and they're going to slip through the cracks," he told ABC's George Stephanopoulos.

In fact, only 4 percent of U.S. violence can be linked to people diagnosed with mental illness, according to a 2015 American Journal of Public Health report debunking the exaggerated role some believe mental illness plays in mass shootings.

Watch Trump's Meet the Press comments below and check out his This Week interview here. Julie Kliegman

the new boehner
9:32 a.m. ET
Brendan Smialowski/AFP/Getty Images

Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) formally announced his bid for House speaker in a Fox News Sunday interview.

He'll be up against Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy, who is favored to take over when John Boehner steps down Oct. 30.

"The American people want a fresh face and a fresh new person," Chaffetz said.

Chaffetz, who chairs the House Oversight Committee, told Politico he would treat the position as a facilitator.

"I'm not here to be a dictator, but to empower members to do what they see fit," he said. "I want the process to work its way through the body." Julie Kliegman

she's probably still a robot though
8:29 a.m. ET

In her latest attempt to convince voters she isn't a humorless robot, Democratic presidential frontrunner Hillary Clinton took to Saturday Night Live to poke fun at herself.

Clinton played Val, an ordinary bartender, to Kate McKinnon's Clinton, who was feeling down on her 2016 chances. The two acknowledged Clinton took a long time to oppose the Keystone pipeline and support same-sex marriage.

When McKinnon mentioned Trump, the real politician mustered a surprisingly decent Donald voice and said, "Isn't he the one that's like, 'Ugh, you're all losers.'"

To further hit home that she's a good sport, Clinton even tweeted praise of McKinnon's performance:

And for his part, Trump retweeted a supporter who slammed Clinton's performance but complimented Taran Killam's ruthless impression of him, showcased in Saturday's cold open.

Even former President Bill Clinton dropped by (as played by SNL vet Darrell Hammond) to kick off the show's 41st season. Watch it all unfold below. Julie Kliegman

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