'Dave Lively' swears he really really wants to win

It’s a bloody important election and I’m determined to win it, says pumped up David Cameron

The Mole

He may blub at the Sound of Music and tear up at the Mary Poppins movie Saving Mr Banks, but Macho Dave Cameron is pumped up and swearing his way to win a majority on polling day no matter how unlikely it seems.

Cameron tells The Times: “I’m feeling pumped up. There’s ten days to go, it’s a bloody important election and I’m determined to get across the line. The line is victory — and victory is a Conservative majority. I know the polls are tight but victory is doable.

After weeks of being criticised for a lack of passion on the campaign trail by old Tory hands such as Lord (Tim) Bell and Sir John Major, Cameron has come out fighting like a bloodied and battered Rocky Balboa, determined to deliver the KO to Ed Miliband in the last round.

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Appearing sweaty and flushed, he told a campaign audience for small business in London yesterday he was "feeling bloody lively”.

He went on: “If you think I’m going to roll over in the next ten days and let Ed Miliband and Alex Salmond wreck that [economic recovery] you’ve got another think coming. We have got a fight on our hands and I am going to win that fight.”

The new ‘Passionate Dave’ certainly startled Michael Dean of the Daily Telegraph “Blimey," he repoirted. "Critics of the Tory campaign have complained that David Cameron hasn't seemed passionate enough in the past few weeks. He's certainly trying to prove them wrong today.

“He isn't using a microphone - he's simply shouting. ‘THAT'S WHAT GETS ME PUMPED UP!’ he keeps bellowing. ‘IF I SEEM LIVELY IT'S BECAUSE I'M FEELING BLOODY LIVELY! I REALLY AM SO PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS ELECTION!’

“He's gone completely crimson. I'm standing at the back, but the sheer gale-force exuberance of his yelling has practically blown my hair off.”

As if in reward for all this effort – thought the fieldwork would have taken place before Dave pumped himself up - a new Ashcroft national poll released yesterday gave the Tories a six-point lead over Labour.

It will raise hopes among Conservatives that the polls showing the two parties neck-and-neck have been underestimating the “shy Tories” who don’t want to admit to the pollsters that they intend to vote Conservative.

This was a point made by the American number-cruncher, Nate Silver, on BBC Panorama last night. He predicted the Tories will emerge the largest party but not large enough – meaning there’ll be “an incredibly messy outcome” to the election.

However, Silver went on to admit to not having enough expertise in British politics to say whether Cameron or Miliband would end up prime minister.

So, will Cameron’s new-found passion reverse the findings of YouGov research for The Times which shows a majority of the electorate believe Miliband is hungrier for a win.

Asked “Of David Cameron and Ed Miliband, which one comes across as wanting to win the most?” 43 per cent said Miliband, compared to 25 per cent for Cameron.

And to prove how much he wants it, Ed ‘Hell Yes’ Miliband is working to win back the blue-collar voters threatening to desert Labour for Ukip by announcing a ten-point plan for immigration.

He is due to say today that Labour offers a “clear, credible and concrete plan on immigration – not false promises”. Maybe that should be a "bloody credible" plan if he wants to be taken seriously.

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