Early Wednesday, Swiss police quietly swooped in and arrested half a dozen high-ranking FIFA officials to face U.S. corruption charges. Jon Stewart had a number of ways of putting that in perspective, especially for a U.S. audience that doesn't religiously follow soccer. "FIFA is so bad, they got arrested by the Swiss," he began on Wednesday's Daily Show, "a country whose official policy on Nazi gold was, and I quote, 'We'll allow it.'"
Stewart walked through the charges — "please don't say their balls were under inflated" — and marveled at the 24-year scope of the alleged bribery and racketeering. "To put that in perspective, this FIFA corruption started Jennifer Lawrence ago. What took so long?" To illustrate the scope of the U.S. investigation, Stewart performed a brief one-man play, "FIFA: A 24 Year Sting Operation," replete with period details.
And then he brought it back to safe Daily Show territory: "What would have happened to these FIFA scoundrels if they were bankers?" The answer: A slap on the wrist, probably. But the U.S. has an open investigation on the bankers who facilitated the FIFA corruption, Stewart noted wryly. "With the Justice Department on the case, we might actually see some people going to jail — in 24 years." —Peter Weber
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