Stephen Colbert has a crazy theory to explain Donald Trump's immigration contortions
Stephen Colbert began Thursday's Late Show with a frightened look at Donald Trump's big immigration speech on Wednesday night. "Man, I have not seen that many angry white people since they canceled a Coldplay concert," he said. But before he dug in, he scratched his head over Trump's entire Wednesday, which began with a visit to Mexico that Colbert had found presidential the night before. "The last 24 hours of Donald Trump has been an emotional roller coaster, and you must be this crazy to ride," he said, holding his hand up to head level. The 24 hours, of course, ended with Trump's fiery speech.
"People are calling that a speech, but that implies Trump spoke," Colbert said. "He really screamed, so I'm gonna call this a screech. I don't understand how he changes emotions so quickly — he went from Mr. Cool in Mexico to thermonuclear in like an hour." Colbert had some thoughts on that, and they make conspiracies about Hillary Clinton's health sound comparatively sane. "I'm starting to think there may be more than one Donald Trump.," he said. "Here's my theory: Trump is actually three Oompa-Loompas standing in a human pyramid inside his suit — one here, one there, and they take turns on who gets to be a head every day. One of them is reasonable, two of them really don't like immigrants. It would explain his policy reversals and his skin tone."
As for the speech itself, Colbert alternated between cowering in mock fear and laughing. The part where Trump said things just sometime don't work out between immigrants and America got its own special punch line: "Yes, America has the right to choose immigrants who love us. And Donald Trump knows they're out there — he's already married two of them." Colbert ended with a timely Karate Kid joke and an air-guitar solo. Watch below. Peter Weber
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
Jussie Smollet conviction overturned on appeal
Speed Read The Illinois Supreme Court overturned the actor's conviction on charges of staging a racist and homophobic attack against himself in 2019
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Quincy Jones, music icon, is dead at 91
Speed Read The legendary producer is perhaps best known as the architect behind Michael Jackson's 'Thriller'
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
OJ Simpson, star athlete tried for murder, dead at 76
Speed Read The former football hero and murder suspect lost his battle with cancer
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
Momofuku's 'Chili Crunch' trademark uproar
Speed Read The company's attempt to own the sole rights has prompted backlash
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
Kevin Hart awarded Mark Twain Prize
Speed Read He is the 25th recipient of the prestigious comedy prize
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Is Downton Abbey set to return for a final film?
Speed Read Imelda Staunton reveals that a third movie may be in the pipeline
By Adrienne Wyper, The Week UK Published
-
'Oppenheimer' sweeps Oscars with 7 wins
speed read The film won best picture, best director (Christopher Nolan) and best actor (Cillian Murphy)
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
'Rust' armorer convicted of manslaughter
speed read The film's cinematographer Halyna Hutchins was shot and killed by actor Alec Baldwin during rehearsal
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published