Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles President Trump

Stephen Colbert smacks his head over Trump's 'travel ban' self-wounding, has his belated fun with 'covfefe'

On Monday, the White House kicked off "infrastructure week" — "it's like shark week, except American infrastructure might actually kill you," Stephen Colbert said on Monday's Late Show — with a plan to privatize the FAA's air traffic control branch, turning it into a nonprofit. "To be fair, any company Trump runs eventually is a nonprofit," he joked. "But if they're gonna be a nonprofit, our air traffic control is going to have to some fundraising to make ends meet, and I'm here to help." Cue the Sarah McLachlan.

Colbert next turned to Trump's travel bans, the second of which is headed to the Supreme Court. "And the administration's only chance of winning is not calling it a travel ban," he said, letting White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer explain why. Then he read Trump's tweets from Monday morning, which explicitly called his travel ban a "TRAVEL BAN" and criticized the Justice Department for not sticking with the original version. "Mr. President, you can't criticize the Justice Department — you control the Justice Department!" Colbert said. "To quote third grade boys everywhere, 'Why are you hitting yourself? Quit hitting yourself! Quit hitting yourself!'"

He spent the next four minutes belatedly having his fun with Trump's "covfefe" tweet — and fun he had — and showing slightly less mirth with Trump's decision to pull out of the Paris climate agreement, for several confounding reasons, including America's status in the world. "At what point do they start laughing at us as a country?" Trump asked, and Colbert raised his hand: "I know that one: Jan. 20, 2017."

Colbert did find one person who approved of Trump pulling out of Paris, however.

He ended with a brief update on the Trump Russia investigation. "It's full of surprises — just when you thought you knew what was going on, it turns out, it's exactly what you thought," Colbert said, briefly running down the mixed stories on Jared Kushner's meeting with the head of a Russian state bank. "Oh, it's just his real estate business," he said, giving the bank's side. "That explains the sign on the front of the White House: 'Country for Sale — Best Offer.'" Watch below. Peter Weber