Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles Election 2017

Stephen Colbert predicted the GOP's Virginia losses by reading Trump tweets

Stephen Colbert taped Tuesday's Late Show before the polls closed on election day, but he had an inkling that Democrats would do well in Virginia, thanks to a series of poorly conceived pleas Donald Trump Jr. tweeted urging Republicans to turn out for GOP candidate Ed Gillespie. "A fine thing to tweet," Colbert said, reading one, "except the election was today, not tomorrow. #WhoopsyDaisy #TurnsOutEricIsTheSmartOne." Don Jr. must be under enormous pressure, since his father is touring Asia, leaving him the lone Donald Trump in the Western Hemisphere, Colbert joked, and then he said something nice about the president, who joined U.S. troops in South Korea for a "taco Tuesday" lunch.

"Good for him," Colbert said. "I criticize him a lot, but this is what the commander-in-chief should do. It is nice to see that he's willing to make the right choice, as long as it involves eating a taco" (and also, apparently, a burrito and curly fries). Colbert also got in a Trinitarian joke about the nuclear triad.

"It's tough for Trump to be overseas, because that's where all the foreigners are," Colbert said. "Trump has been clear that he wants us to buy American, hire American, so it's slightly surprising that he recently hired 70 foreign workers for his Mar-a-Lago golf club. So all you DREAMers are welcome to stay, as long as your dream is mowing the back nine." Finally, Colbert found a silver lining in Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) being viciously tackled by a neighbor over landscaping decisions: "Now I condemn all forms of violence, but it is refreshing to see that even in this politically charged environment, we can go back to feuding over stupid stuff." Watch below. Peter Weber