Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles 2020

Stephen Colbert weighs the pros and cons of President Oprah, considers if Trump is actually, like, really smart

"Did anyone here see last night's episode of Oprah?" Stephen Colbert asked on Monday's Late Show. "Now, some people are calling it the Golden Globes," but Oprah Winfrey's speech clearly stole the show. "People were immediately calling that speech presidential — and a year ago, I would have agreed," he said. "These days, it played a little coherent."

There are upsides to the idea of a President Oprah, but "I offer a note of caution," Colbert said: "Do we really want to elect another billionaire TV star? Granted, this one is actually a billionaire and actually a TV star." But Oprah seems reasonable enough to consider that "being a billionaire TV star doesn't necessarily qualify you to have the launch codes," he added. "Then again, if we ever did go toe-to-toe with North Korea, I believe she could calm Kim Jong Un down just by helping him lose weight." Even Trump thinks Oprah belongs in the White House, he noted, though Trump was "delusional" enough back in 1999 to believe she would agree to be his vice president.

Fire and Fury author Michael Wolff was on Monday's Late Show, and his tell-all about the Trump White House "is just packed with nuggets of ohmygod," Colbert said. "If you have not read it yet, here are the CliffsNotes: Trump dumb, staff worried." The book has stirred new doubts about Trump's fitness to be president, "but on Saturday, Trump slapped back the notion that he's incompetent" with a series of tweets that raised new doubts of their own, Colbert said. He had a fine time reading through them.

The main source for Wolff's book was Stephen Bannon, who savaged Trump and his family. "But after getting attacked by the president and threatened with losing his job, he folded like an origami cuck," Colbert said, noting that his apology to Trump and his family (not accepted) was less than comprehensive. Watch below. Peter Weber