Speed Reads

horror in a bottle

Heinz created a bottled mayo-ketchup blend and it's going to ruin America

For just 500,000 votes, Heinz will actively ruin America's condiment aisles.

The ketchup behemoth unveiled a ketchup-mayonnaise blend called "Mayochup" on Wednesday, and your misguided vote could make it a reality.

Mayochup is already available in some Middle East countries, per USA Today, and Americans were quick to point out that "fry sauce" — not Mayochup — is already a thing in Utah and Idaho.

Your vote can ensure it doesn't become a thing anywhere else.