Stephen Colbert amuses himself before the Mueller report's release by poking fun at Julian Assange

Stephen Colbert counts his chickens
(Image credit: Screenshot/YouTube/The late Show)

After two years, Special Counsel Robert Mueller's report will be made public Thursday, Stephen Colbert half-celebrated on Wednesday's Late Show. Attorney General William Barr and Deputy Attorney General Rosenstein will discuss the report at 9:30 a.m., before releasing it hours later, and it "will undoubtedly blow the lid off Donald Trump's corruption," Colbert deadpanned, holding up a dozen eggs. "Until then, I will pass the time counting my chickens, which I will safely place in one basket."

"One person who's likely to appear in the report is WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange," dragged out of Ecuador's London embassy last week "looking like Gandalf the Douche," Colbert said. Why did Ecuador revoke his asylum after seven years? "Well for one, Ecuador's government accused him of spying on other countries from their embassy and of hacking the phone of their president, Lenín Moreno, then posting this picture of Moreno eating lobster in bed," he said. "Also, Assange, it turns out, is the worst roommate on Planet Earth."

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Peter Weber, The Week US

Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.