Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles the 2020 election

Trevor Noah and Jimmy Kimmel find some holes in Trump's 'evil plan' to steal the election

"On a normal election night, the story is predictable," Trevor Noah said on Wednesday's Daily Show: "The votes are counted, cable news paints the states red or blue, a winner is declared, and the loser calls the fireworks company to see if they can get a refund. But this year, thanks to the coronavirus pandemic, more people than ever will be voting by mail," and "it might be a while until we know who actually won the election."

And "while the FBI is warning America about foreign adversaries spreading disinformation after the election," before all the votes are counted, Noah said, "we don't need to wait for Russia to undermine America's election, because America's president is already doing it himself. I guess he is bringing foreign jobs back to the U.S. after all. I mean, if Trump isn't working with Russia on this, then the Russians must be really confused."

"But here's the thing: Because this is 2020 and everything is a nightmare, it turns out that Trump doesn't even need to prove that mail-in ballots are invalid in order for him to snatch the election away," Noah said. "All he needs to do is prolong the fight over it," specifically for 35 days. "Now, is Trump going to get away with any of this?" he asked. "Ultimately that's going to be up to the Supreme Court — which is exactly what Donald wants. ... The one thing I'll always appreciate about Donald Trump is that he doesn't try and make us work to figure out his evil plan."

"But there are two flaws in Donald Trump's plan," Noah said. "One is that even the justices that he put on the Supreme Court could end up ruling against him — and based on how many people Trump's hired that end up hating him, that could actually happen. The second flaw in Trump's plan is that if people come out to vote against him in high enough numbers, the results will be so clear and resounding that there will be no way he can challenge them."

Yes, "there's increasing concern that even if he loses, Trump will refuse to leave the White House," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. "But here's the thing, it's simple: If the American people want to guarantee that Donald Trump will leave us, there's a very simple thing we can do — marry him." Watch below. Peter Weber