"The results of the 2020 Census just came out, and for the first time in American history the number of white people went down," Jimmy Fallon said on Thursday's Tonight Show, surprised at the cheers from his audience. "Most people shrugged at the decline of white people, while Fox News declared it a national emergency."
"Here in L.A., they may start making people show proof they've been vaxxed to enter public indoor spaces," Silverman said. "If getting vaccinated lets me go to a bar or a gym in L.A., that is a small price to pay to hang out with some of the worst people alive." Seriously, she deadpanned, "what's next with this stuff, you know? Before kids can go to school they'll have to get a shot for polio and dyptheria, tetanus, measles, mumps, rubella, chicken pox, hepatitis B — oh wait, they already do that."
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"The Delta variant has caused a huge COVID spike, not that every region of the United States has been affected equally," Stephen Colbert said at The Late Show. "Cases are going up gradually in the Northeast, Midwest, and West — but the South, oh, she will rise again. The problem is — you guessed it — in the South, fewer people are vaccinated on average. You can read all about it in the classic Southern novel To Kill a Mockingbird By Giving It Medical Advice From Facebook."
Colbert played Arnold Schwarzenegger's rant against "schmucks" who won't wear masks or get vaccinated, then sided with President Biden in his spat with Ron DeSantis, the governor of Florida, "which accounts for nearly 1 in 5 U.S. COVID cases — also, 1 in 5 spring break chlamydia cases." And "speaking of the addled ramblings of a diseased brain," he said, "there's some news about MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell" and newly minted "video birthday clown" Rudy Giuliani.
On Late Night, Seth Meyers took a closer look at the news about Lindell, Giuliani, and other "Trump-adjacent weirdos."
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Truck drivers are questioning the Trump administration's English mandateTalking Points Some have praised the rules, others are concerned they could lead to profiling
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DC prosecutors lose bid to indict sandwich throwerSpeed Read Prosecutors sought to charge Sean Dunn with assaulting a federal officer
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2 kids killed in shooting at Catholic school massSpeed Read 17 others were wounded during a morning mass at the Annunciation Catholic School in Minneapolis
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Israeli double strike on Gaza hospital kills 20Speed Read The dead include five journalists who worked for The Associated Press, Reuters and Al Jazeera
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China is silently expanding its influence in American citiesUnder the Radar New York City and San Francisco, among others, have reportedly been targeted
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Kyiv marks independence as Russia downplays peaceSpeed Read President Vladimir Putin has no plans to meet with Zelenskyy for peace talks pushed by President Donald Trump
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Trump halts Gaza visas as Israelis protest warSpeed Read Laura Loomer voiced her concerns over injured Palestinian kids being brought to the US for treatment and a potential 'Islamic invasion'
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Russia tries Ukraine land grab before Trump summitSpeed Read The incursion may be part of Putin's efforts to boost his bargaining position
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US, China extend trade war truce for 90 daysSpeed Read The triple-digit tariff threat is postponed for another three months
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Europe counters Putin ahead of Trump summitSpeed Read President Trump will meet with Russian President Vladimir Putin in Alaska this week for Ukraine peace talks
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Israeli security cabinet OKs Gaza City takeoverSpeed Read Netanyahu approved a proposal for Israeli Defense Forces to take over the largest population center in the Gaza Strip
