"The results of the 2020 Census just came out, and for the first time in American history the number of white people went down," Jimmy Fallon said on Thursday's Tonight Show, surprised at the cheers from his audience. "Most people shrugged at the decline of white people, while Fox News declared it a national emergency."

Sarah Silverman, guest-hosting Jimmy Kimmel Live, imagined that Pope Francis stopped an event to talk about Britney Spears' conservatorship and celebrated Batman's sidekick Robin coming out as bisexual. "I think the best thing we can do for Robin right now is to just be really supportive and act totally surprised," she joked. And she aired a PSA about the greatest plague threatening America, other than the actual plague threatening America. 

"Here in L.A., they may start making people show proof they've been vaxxed to enter public indoor spaces," Silverman said. "If getting vaccinated lets me go to a bar or a gym in L.A., that is a small price to pay to hang out with some of the worst people alive." Seriously, she deadpanned, "what's next with this stuff, you know? Before kids can go to school they'll have to get a shot for polio and dyptheria, tetanus, measles, mumps, rubella, chicken pox, hepatitis B — oh wait, they already do that."

"The Delta variant has caused a huge COVID spike, not that every region of the United States has been affected equally," Stephen Colbert said at The Late Show. "Cases are going up gradually in the Northeast, Midwest, and West — but the South, oh, she will rise again. The problem is — you guessed it — in the South, fewer people are vaccinated on average. You can read all about it in the classic Southern novel To Kill a Mockingbird By Giving It Medical Advice From Facebook."

Colbert played Arnold Schwarzenegger's rant against "schmucks" who won't wear masks or get vaccinated, then sided with President Biden in his spat with Ron DeSantis, the governor of Florida, "which accounts for nearly 1 in 5 U.S. COVID cases — also, 1 in 5 spring break chlamydia cases." And "speaking of the addled ramblings of a diseased brain," he said, "there's some news about MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell" and newly minted "video birthday clown" Rudy Giuliani. 

On Late Night, Seth Meyers took a closer look at the news about Lindell, Giuliani, and other "Trump-adjacent weirdos."