Speed Reads

Last Night on Late Night

Late night hosts joke about Raiders ex-coach Jon Gruden's offensive emails, Greg Abbott's COVID boosterism

"Last night, Las Vegas Raiders head coach Jon Gruden resigned after old emails came out showing his use of homophobic, racist, and misogynistic language," Jimmy Fallon said on Tuesday's Tonight Show. "Do you know how bad it's gotta be to get kicked out of Las Vegas? They got no rules there. In a statement, Gruden said 'I apologize, my 19,000 offensive emails are not who I am.'"

Gruden "hit everybody — Blacks, gays, women, protesters, brain-damage victims," Trevor Noah said at The Daily Show. "It's almost like he was competing in a cancelation decathlon." Dulcé Sloan buzzed in with her own comments on Gruden — and other topics.

Gruden's "emails were so offensive, the Raiders almost made him offensive coordinator," Jimmy Kimmel joked on Kimmel Live. "You know you screwed up when you're not fit to coach a team whose fans dress like actual demons."

"The governor of Texas, Greg Abbott, is — oh, you don't like him? — is doing his best to bring COVID back," Kimmel said, pointing to his executive orders banning all vaccine mandates in the state. "And while Gov. Abbott is selectively determining who can do what with their bodies, Texas Sen. Ted Cruz is helping to launch an imaginary new crisis," claiming — falsely, the FAA had to clarify — that the Southwest Airlines cancelations are being caused by pilots who refuse to get the mandated vaccine. "The one time Republicans support a labor strike is when no labor is actually striking," he sighed.

"It's funny how Republican governors like Abbott always say the government should never tell private businesses how to do things, and then they do just that when it's in their political interest," The Daily Show's Noah mused. He also chided Moderna for refusing to share its vaccine formula, wishing pharmaceutical companies "would want to use their powers for good. I mean, imagine if superheroes had the same profit motive as these pharmaceutical companies." He did imagine it, and was impressed at how this version of Superman turned out.

"DC Comics announced yesterday that the new Superman character will come out as bisexual," but "the crazy part is that there are still Superman comics," Seth Meyers said on Late Night. "'You see, kids, he's a reporter at a newspaper.' 'He's a what at a what?' 'He changes in a telephone booth!' 'What are you talking about? What are these things?'"