Speed Reads

Last Night on Late Night

Late night hosts joke about inflation, Tucker Carlson's vaccination status, Putin's follies

To soften the blow of high fuel costs, Krispy Kreme is offering a deal tied to the price of a gallon of gas, The Late Show noted Tuesday, puzzling over the marketing strategy here.

Yes, "inflation, it's getting worse and it's affecting everything," Trevor Noah said on The Daily Show. Consumer demand is sky high, "but the supply chain issues mean there's not enough products for the people to buy, and that drives the prices up. And then on top of that, Vladimir Putin decided that oh, now would be a nice time to Airbnb eastern Ukraine by force, raising oil prices, which makes everyone more expensive."

"The only thing that gets better because of inflation is small talk," Noah joked, but his example wasn't encouraging.

"Prices have jumped a whopping 8.5 percent since last March," Stephen Colbert said on The Late Show. Inflation numbers like that mean "no more splurging at the grocery store," so "instead of Milwaukee's Best, it'll have to be Waukesha's Ehhh — which is, let's face it, not that much worse."

"In an effort to reduce gas prices, President Biden announced that he will be allowing gasoline that uses a 15 percent ethanol blend," Colbert said. The blend, E15, costs 10 cents a gallon less, he calculated, so for a full tank of gas, "that comes out to … yeah, still not enough to save the Democrats in the midterms."

"Over in Ukraine," Russian President Vladimir Putin, stung by losses and brutal sanctions, is reportedly considering openly helping Donald Trump win back the White House in 2024, Colbert said. "But at least Putin has moved on to the next election, unlike disgraced attorney and rest home gigolo John Eastman," who's "still trying to decertify the 2020 election." Look, he said, "our ex-president isn't allowed a 'do-over' just because he didn't like the result the first time — that's how you get an Eric."

"Speaking of Russia," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live, "Russia's neighbor Sarah Palin is making a comeback." And to survive the possibility Palin makes it to Congress, he replaced her voice with Morgan Freeman's. "The other darling of Fox News, Tucker Carlson, made an interesting confession at a megachurch in San Diego, he said he's not vaccinated," Kimmel said. "I don't believe he isn't vaccinated," he added. "Tucker Carlson is the vaccine equivalent of the guy on the Titanic who dressed as a woman to get on the lifeboat first."