Pig-pleasuring bishop who fell for satanic author has clerical powers removed

A bishop in Spain has had his clerical powers removed following his marriage to an author of erotica with satanic undertones. The diocese of Solsona, where Xavier Novell Goma served as a bishop, said he is now forbidden from administering the sacraments and engaging in any active teaching, “both in public and private”. It was reported last month that Novell now works exporting pig semen, artificially inseminating pigs and even “masturbating” them.

Church apologises after bishop tells kids Santa isn’t real

A Roman Catholic church in Sicily has publicly apologised to parents after its bishop told a group of children that Santa Claus doesn’t exist. A spokeperson for the church said Bishop Antonio Stagliano didn’t mean the comments, and was trying to underline the true meaning of Christmas and the story of Saint Nicholas, a bishop who gave gifts to the poor and was persecuted by a Roman emperor. Stagliano had also said that Santa’s red costume was created by Coca-Cola.

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Warning as jackals ‘head for Britain’

“Bloodthirsty” jackals are “heading for Britain” in “one of the biggest land invasions by an animal anywhere in the history of the world”, reported the Daily Star. The tabloid claimed the “howling scavengers” are travelling across Europe towards the UK. It warned that the animals could howl in unison with church bells and “tuck into” chickens, turkeys, lambs, sheep, goats, deer and pheasants. Professor Luigi Boitani, chairman of the Large Carnivore Initiative for Europe, said humans had little to fear from the animals.