Boris Johnson ‘is time-travelling prostitute from 1800s’

Boris Johnson is a time-travelling prostitute from the 1800s – according to the latest mischievous speculation. As Johnson prepares to become the next prime minister, comparisons have been drawn with a photo circulating on social media featuring a prostitute showing off her backside. “Are you sure that’s not Boris?” asked one tweeter, while another claimed that “Boris is a big fan of the sepia option on his iPhone.”

Human/dog hybrid spooks men in Texas

A “half-human, half-dog” creature seen lurking near a river in Texas has terrified local fishermen. “What the f***, is that a dog or what?” a cameraman asks in online footage of the creature. Viewers were quick to leave comments with their theories. “That could be a Bigfoot,” one ventured. Another wrote: “That is not a fake. The reaction can’t fake those words.”

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Meth van crashes into police car

A van jammed with more than 270kg (600lbs) of drugs crashed into parked police cars in Sydney. The collision happened in front of a police station in one of the city’s suburbs yesterday morning. Officers quizzed the driver before conducting a search of the van, and discovering meth with a street value of A$200 million (£112.4m).

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Time traveller ‘impregnated by alien in 3500’

A woman says she travelled through time to the year 3500 to get impregnated by an alien. In a video on YouTube, the woman says: “I am pregnant from an alien. Five months from now, I will give birth to a child who will be a mix of a human and an alien from the Andromeda Galaxy.” She adds that time travel was discovered during the 1970s.

Why are watermelons replacing piglets at fair?

Watermelons will replace piglets in an annual event celebrating agriculture in California. The Sonoma County Fair has eliminated the pig scramble from Farmers Day due to public concern over animal welfare. Rather than chasing piglets, school children will carry watermelons lubed with vegetable oil around an obstacle course.

Airbnb host’s stringent toilet rules revealed

An Airbnb customer has published a list of bathroom instructions and rules issued by his host. “The purpose of the toilet brush is to remove any signs of your passage, of whatever colour, from inside the toilet,” the host writes. “Gentlemen, it would be highly appreciated if you took a seat both for number one and number two.”