The Week contest: How now, smart cow?

Researchers have observed Veronika, a 13-year-old pet cow, grasping a broom with her mouth and using it to scratch her back—the first documented case of tool use in bovines. In seven or fewer words, come up with a catchy slogan that an animal rights group could use to discourage people from eating smart cows.

RESULTS:

THE WINNER: MIT, not M-E-A-T!

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Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.

SECOND PLACE: Brains before brisket

Markie Gekas, Winnetka, Ill.

THIRD PLACE: High IQ? Don’t BBQ!

Diane Ross, Hatfield, Pa.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Heifer little respect.

Jesse Rifkin, Arlington, Va.

Don’t braise me, bro!

Steve Salerno, Mundelein, Ill.

Your hamburger could be a helper.

Erica Avery, Greenfield, Mass.

If she’s clever, spare the cleaver.

Kenneth Burgan, Grass Valley, Calif.

A mind is a terrible thing to taste.

Laurel Rose, Pittsburgh

It’s better to milk their full potential.

Ken Kellam III, Dallas

Smart steaks are not even medium rare.

Lidia Zidik, Reading, Pa.

No a la carte, they’re smart!

Bill Levine, Belmont, Mass.

Beefy, but brainy, too.

Daniel A Unrath, Canandaigua, N.Y.

Love my mind, not my body!

Gary Evenson, McFarland, Wis.

A+, Not A1

Gary Cross, Houston

Cow power! Next tool’s a human prod.

Shelby Sadler, Rockville, Md.