The Week contest: Werewolf bill

This week's question: As part of its efforts to cut red tape, the Argentine government may soon scrap a 1974 law intended to protect children from turning into werewolves. If a U.S. lawmaker were to introduce a similar anti-werewolf measure in Congress, what should the bill be titled?
Click here to see the results of last week's contest: Cheese heist
RESULTS:
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THE WINNER: "No Child Left Fur-Lined"
Eric E. Wallace, Eagle, Idaho
SECOND PLACE: "The HOWL (Help Offset Werewolf Levels) Act"
Tim Mistele, Coral Gables, Florida
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THIRD PLACE: "Don't Say Bay"
Emily Dentinger, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
"No Child Left Canine"
Erica Avery, Greenfield, Massachusetts
"The Snoot Howley Act"
Charles R. Meek, San Angelo, Texas
"The No-Were Act"
Jesse Rifkin, Arlington, Virginia
"Hellhound Reduction Act"
George Strong, Plano, Texas
"The Silver Bullet Procurement Act"
Daniel Hicks, Randolph, Massachusetts
"The Once in a Full Moon Act"
Bill Levine, Belmont, Massachusetts
"Larry Talbot's Law"
Kenneth Burgan, Grass Valley, California
"No Child Left Befanged"
Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Virginia
"The Hinder and Obstruct Wee Lycans (HOWL) Act"
John Parry, Eldersburg, Maryland
"The FANG (Families Against Nocturnal Growling) Act"
Michael Rouse, Troy, Michigan
"Fangs Off Our Future Bill"
Bill Wilwers, Barling, Arkansas
"The Dangerous Species Act"
Ken Liebman, Williston, Vermont
"HIPAA: Hirsute Infant Proliferation Abolishment Act"
Heidi Heimler, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
"No K9's In Our K-12's Act"
Lidia Zidik, Reading, Pennsylvania
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