Late night hosts laugh at Ron DeSantis' high school bullying, Ikea's 'tiny wrench' in Russia's Ukraine war

published 4 March 2022

These are dark days, "but every once in a while there's a little gleam of sunshine in the world — a child's smile, the first flower of spring, the Jan. 6 committee laying out potential criminal charges against the former president," Stephen Colbert said on Thursday's Late Show. "Turns out there is a chance that trying to violently overthrow our democracy might be illegal," he deadpanned. "To paraphrase an idiot and his bloodthirsty mob: Lock him up."

Despite what Russian President Vladimir Putin claims, his Ukraine "invasion has been an embarrassment to Mother Russia," Colbert said. Not only are Ukrainians stepping up to fight, but aside from China, "every other major country and corporation is disowning them — for instance, Ikea is closing its Russian stores," he added. "This will go into effect just as soon as they can find that little Allen wrench to take the stores apart."

"Ikea said they'll do whatever they can to throw a useless tiny wrench into Russia's economy," Jimmy Fallon joked at The Tonight Show. "Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis saw some high school students at his press conference who were wearing masks, and he wasn't too happy about that," telling them to take them off, he noted. "When their parents asked how their day was, they were like, 'I got bullied ... by the governor?'"

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The Jan. 6 committee has so much evidence of criminality, "this morning Trump tried to flush himself down the toilet," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. Speaking of Donald Trump, his border wall has been breached by smugglers 3,272 times in three years "because of the design he personally insisted on," he illustrated. "Basically, Trump installed a $15 billion doggy door along the southern border."

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Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.