After Megyn Kelly debacle, Stephen Colbert gives 'the talk' to sex-confused Newt Gingrich

Stephen Colbert gives &quot;the talk&quot; to Newt Gingrich

(Image credit: Late Show)

published 27 October 2016

With 13 days until the election, Donald Trump's campaign is sinking like a ship, Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday night's Late Show, "and Trump's surrogates are doing just what passengers on the Titanic did: remaining calm on the ship and talking about how great it is." He looked at Rudy Giuliani's antics, then turned to Newt Gingrich's infamous confrontation with Megyn Kelly over Trump's alleged sexual predation, in which Gingrich said Kelly is "fascinated with sex and you don't care about public policy."

"Okay, first off, everybody is more fascinated with sex than public policy," Colbert said. "But the thing is, Megyn Kelly File isn't talking about fun-time bedroom whoopee-making, she's talking about assault. Oh, wait, unless Newt doesn't know the difference... maybe no one gave him the talk." The after-school special music started, Colbert turned to the close-up camera, and he began:

Newt, sweetheart, you're growing up so fast — in fact, you're 73. Your body's changing; you've probably noticed some strange new hair growing on your earlobes — it's perfectly natural. You're old enough to finally learn about the birds and the bees and the consent. You see, when a man has special feelings for a woman, and he wants to give her a special hug, he asks her a special questions: 'U up?' But grabbing a lady because you're a TV star is not sex, it's assault. And fun fact: Assault is a matter of public policy 'cause it's illegal, even if you use Tic-Tacs. [Late Show]

The last half of the monologue is dedicated to Trump's pugilistic response to Vice President Joe Biden's threat to "take him behind the gym," leading Colbert to hype a real fight between the two — "it's Biden vs. Trump, the Veep vs. the Creep" — and showing a pretty realistic commercial for "the Rumble in the Trumple, the Thrilla in Orange with a Swirl of Vanilla." You can watch below. Peter Weber

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Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.