Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles President Trump Abroad

Stephen Colbert gleefully recaps Trump's adventures in Saudi Arabia and Israel

President Trump is out of the country, and Stephen Colbert said that gave him a little extra pep in his step. "By the way, federal judges, now would be a good time to reinstate that travel ban," he said on Monday's Late Show. "He'll be flying in from a dangerous part of the world, he's said some radical stuff, I'm just saying. 'Extreme vetting,' that's all I'm asking for."

Colbert started with Trump's visit to Saudi Arabia, including the many similarities between what Trump criticized former President Barack Obama over and what he himself did — Obama bowed to accept a gold medallion, for example, and Trump threw in a curtsy. "It doesn't matter, you gotta bow to get the thing around your neck," Colbert said. "But it is kind of a dirty trick by the Saudi king. First of all, he's short. Second, he holds the medal down here."

Trump also gamely participated in a traditional sword dance, but "not everyone looked that comfortable at the party," Colbert said. "Here's Steve Bannon realizing these aren't the kind of men in white robes he's used to." And of course he touched on the odd image of Trump and the Saudi king touching a glowing orb. "Fellas, if I may, you need to work on your not-looking-like-supervillain skills," he said. Finally, Colbert laughed a little darkly at Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross' wonder that there were no anti-Trump protests in Saudi Arabia, given what Saudi Arabia does to protesters.

Trump flew to Israel on Monday, and his plans include a big push for, according to a real White House press release, "lasting peach" between Israel and the Palestinians. "Yes, lasting peach," Colbert said. "And I think this one's really going to resonate with the American people, because Americans really want something with peach in it — peach ice cream, peach cobbler, impeach, anything with peach." In Israel, Trump also inadvertently admitted he passed classified secrets from Israel to the Russians, and visited the Western Wall, the holiest site in Judaism. "Nice wall," Colbert said, in Trump voice. "How did you get Mexico to pay for it?" He ended with a "Donald Trump palate-cleanser," involving a girl and a sea lion.

If you wanted to end on a Trump note, here are some imaginary, cheeky post cards from Trump's travels. Peter Weber