Speed Reads

Late Night Tackles Trump and impeachment

Late night hosts laugh at Trump's Super Bowl gaffes, rue his witness-less Senate impeachment trial

President Trump sat down with Fox News host Sean Hannity for a pre-Super Bowl interview on Sunday, and Stephen Colbert tagged in for Hannity on Monday's Late Show, poking fun at, among other things, Trump's embarrassing post-game sports geography flub.

Yes, "the Kansas City Chiefs are based in Kansas City, Missouri," not Kansas, Colbert said in his monologue. He turned to Trump's word-association game answer to Hannity on Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.), which somehow involved marriage and Moscow. "Of course Trump doesn't think of marriage when he thinks of Moscow," he said. "For Trump, Moscow means a binding oath of loyalty that he cannot break until death."

"Today, the Senate heard closing arguments from both sides" in Trump's "sham" impeachment trial," Colbert said. House prosecutor Adam Schiff (D-Calif.) "called on the senators to do the moral thing and rise above their corrupt leader," but "here's why things look grim for Schiff's argument: On Friday, the Senate voted against calling witnesses in the impeachment trial, 51-49." He singled out "lame excuses" offered by Sens. Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska) and Lamar Alexander (R-Tenn.).

Unlike Alexander and Murklowski, Sen. Mitt Romney (R-Utah) voted for witnesses on Friday, as did Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine), "but only after waiting to make sure her vote wouldn't matter at all," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. "Today they had closing arguments, which were very much like the opening arguments but without any witnesses or evidence in between,"and "Kenneth Starr today, Trump's attorney, referenced Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. when he was defending Trump, so Happy Black History Month, everybody. At least irony and democracy died together."

"After months of claiming Trump did nothing wrong, many key Republicans have now settled on, 'Look, man, it was bad, but not kick-the-guy-out bad,'" Trevor Noah paraphrased at The Daily Show. "Republicans basically treat Trump like white people treat their dogs: 'Sure it tore up all the furniture and pooped on the floor and bit the neighbor's kid, but who can stay mad at that face?'"

Still, Trump's apparent lie about Michael Bloomberg asking to stand on a box was an act of evil genius, Noah said, in part because it "creates yet another distraction from what really matters, like the fact that people in his own party are admitting that they think he is guilty — while also making sure that his trial is so short that not even a box will help it." Watch below. Peter Weber