Speed Reads

Late Night tackles the Trump-Biden transition

Late night hosts don't think the pro-Trump Capitol insurrection was very funny, tell jokes anyway

The Late Show opened Thursday's show using North Korea to underscore how terrible Wednesday's assault on the U.S. Capitol was for U.S. democracy.

"That's right, a pro-Trump mob stormed the Capitol yesterday and forced the joint session of Congress to halt the certification of the Electoral College vote — and if this is the first you're hearing of it, welcome Fox viewers," Seth Meyers joked at Late Night. "After inciting yesterday's assault on the U.S. Capitol, President Trump released a statement early this morning pledging 'an orderly transition on Jan. 20.' Oh, he pledged? Well then, we're good. He never goes back on a pledge. Just ask Marla, Ivana, or this Bible."

Trump is clearly "terrified," because he released a video Thursday evening that "definitely has the feel of someone who has been told by their lawyer that in 13 days or less, they can be charged with insurrection, sedition, and inciting violence," Stephen Colbert said at The Late Show. But "he doesn't mean a word of it. A man facing a noose will say anything to save his neck."

There's "some serious someone-has-to-take-away-Grandpa's-car-keys energy" in Washington, but Trump's allies are suggesting antifa, not Trump supporters, was responsible for Wednesday's "angry, seditious mob," Colbert said. That would be more plausible "if the president's supporters would stop bragging that they're the ones who rioted," he added, showing examples.

"Things are so crazy, today Mexico was like, 'If you need a wall around your Capitol, we'll pay for it,'" Jimmy Fallon joked at The Tonight Show. "Trump finally acknowledged that there will be an 'orderly transition' of power on Jan. 20. When Trump says there will be an orderly transition, he means an orderly is going to have to drag him out the front door." Meanwhile, he said, "according to his closest allies, Trump is 'mentally unreachable,' while another source believes the president is 'out of his mind.' If any more news from 2016 breaks throughout the night, we'll be sure to keep you updated."

"I love that these people are just now realizing this man is not fit to be president," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. "Have you never seen his Pizza Hut commercials? But the end of this nonsense is near. We have 13 days of Trump to go, possibly less." He said the chaos of Trump's final days reminds him of "The Snake," a lyric poem Trump used to love to read. Watch Kimmel use it against Trump below. Peter Weber