Speed Reads

Last Night on Late Night

Colbert, Fallon, and Kimmel guess why Ivanka and Jared are really distancing themselves from Trump

Democrats insist they have options after Senate Republicans filibustered their major voting rights bill on Tuesday night, but not even Santa is buying that on Tooning Out the News

"Democrats wanted things like automatic voter registration and Election Day to be a national holiday, while Republicans wanted every polling place to be at a yacht club," Jimmy Fallon joked on Wednesday's Tonight Show. Meanwhile, "I read that Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner are trying to distance themselves from former President Trump because they're tired of him complaining about losing the election. When he heard that one of his kids wanted distance, Trump was like, 'Please be Eric, please be Eric.'"

"Trump's inner circle is almost as small as his hands right now — even Jared and Ivanka are said to be distancing themselves from presi-daddy," Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. "Trump has reportedly become so distant from Ivanka, he's started calling her Eric, which is really sad. And they say that Trump is now, without his family at his side, he's become increasingly surrounded by shady groupies and enablers who take advantage of him to advance their own agendas. He's like a monkey and three giraffes away from being Michael Jackson in 2008. And while the less of him we get is good news for most of us, for some it's creating a financial strain." Those people, per Kimmel's PSA, are out-of-work Trump impersonators.

Trump slammed Alec Baldwin's Trump impersonation when he denied trying to sic the Justice Department on Kimmel and SNL, Stephen Colbert noted at The Late Show. "It is possible the only reason he didn't single out my impression is that it's so bad he didn't realize I was doing him." Trump "then complained about the election and ominously closed his statement hinting at the QAnon conspiracy theory that he will be reinstated, with this rhyme: '2024 or before,'" he said. "Nah, I think you're 2021 and done."

"Speaking of the former president, his daughter and son-in-law don't want to," Colbert said. He imagined a specific Trump complaint Ivanka and Jared are distancing themselves from — it doesn't involve the election — but "apparently the feeling is somewhat mutual, because insiders say there is jealousy from the former president about Kushner's seven-figure book deal. Early reports are that Jared's book is going to be a lot like Jared: glossy and no spine."