Stephen Colbert half-cheers the Trump Organization indictments, jokes he doesn't want to get hurt again
Something happened in a New York court today "that will forever change the course of our nation's history — or not," Stephen Colbert shrugged on Thursday's Late Show. "It's too early to tell." He told his audience he wanted to join in their cheering about the Trump Organization and its chief financial officer, Allen Weisselberg, being indicted in New York, "but I've been hurt too many times. First I fell in love with the Mueller Report, and then I bounced back with the first impeachment, then I gave love one more chance with the other impeachment, and I just hurt, you know."
Even before the indictment was unsealed Thursday afternoon, "all the experts were saying that these charges, unlike the former president, seemed kind of thin," and then Trump himself wasn't even personally indicted, Colbert said. "Nothing sticks to this guy. I'd call him 'Teflon Don' but I'm pretty sure that coating is deck sealant." Still, he added, "this is a moment of reckoning. It's like the end of the Avengers, when Tony Stark snaps his fingers and destroys Thanos' ... accountant. You gotta work your way up to Thanos — they'll get there."
"Anyway, we here at The Late Show will continue to stay on this story as it continues to disappoint us," Colbert said. "But I do have a glimmer of hope for a sliver of consequences on the Jan. 6 insurrection." House Speaker Nancy Pelosi named her eight picks for a newly approved select committee to investigate the insurrection, and her selections included Rep. Liz Cheney (R-Wyo.). "Okay, so the committee has seven Democrats to grill the seditionists, and if that doesn't work, they've got one Cheney to shoot 'em in the face," he said, noting that's a "15-year-old joke" based on a true story.
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
The Late Show also performed its ambivalence about the Trump Organization indictments in the parody of an '80s classic from The Pointer Sisters.
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
Quincy Jones, music icon, is dead at 91
Speed Read The legendary producer is perhaps best known as the architect behind Michael Jackson's 'Thriller'
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Moldova's pro-West president wins 2nd term
Speed Read Maia Sandu beat Alexandr Stoianoglo, despite suspicions of Russia meddling in the election
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
2024 race ends with swing state barnstorming
Speed Read Kamala Harris and Donald Trump held rallies in battlegrounds over the weekend
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Quincy Jones, music icon, is dead at 91
Speed Read The legendary producer is perhaps best known as the architect behind Michael Jackson's 'Thriller'
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
The Apprentice: will biopic change how voters see Donald Trump?
Talking Point 'Brutal' film depicts presidential candidate raping first wife Ivana, but some critics believe portrayal is surprisingly sympathetic
By Chas Newkey-Burden, The Week UK Published
-
All in the Family: Trump's nephew paints 'engrossing' picture of 'toxic' clan
The Week Recommends Fred III's new book reads like a 'cathartic exercise'
By Irenie Forshaw, The Week UK Published
-
OJ Simpson, star athlete tried for murder, dead at 76
Speed Read The former football hero and murder suspect lost his battle with cancer
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
Momofuku's 'Chili Crunch' trademark uproar
Speed Read The company's attempt to own the sole rights has prompted backlash
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US Published
-
Kevin Hart awarded Mark Twain Prize
Speed Read He is the 25th recipient of the prestigious comedy prize
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Is Downton Abbey set to return for a final film?
Speed Read Imelda Staunton reveals that a third movie may be in the pipeline
By Adrienne Wyper, The Week UK Published
-
Unpasteurised milk and the American right
Under the radar Former darling of health-conscious liberal foodies is now a 'conservative culture war signal': a sign of mistrust in experts
By Harriet Marsden, The Week UK Published