Last Night on Late Night
"Gavin Newsom's still the governor" of California after "he trounced a clown car full of candidates who were running against him" in Tuesday's recall election, Jimmy Kimmel said on Wednesday's Kimmel Live. "The cost to our state was about $300 million, which I think is the third-most-expensive dinner at French Laundry ever."
"Have you been following this ongoing saga of Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend's testicles?" Kimmel asked. "Dr. Fauci had to weigh in on it, even the minister of health in Trinidad and Tobago was forced to issue an official statement," he said, "but I have a lot of questions for Nicki's cousin's friend," and Minaj tweeted at him that "he's willing to talk for the right price." Really, "by the pound?" Kimmel asked.
"Speaking of nuts, Donald Trump," Kimmel said, running down some revelations in yet another "new tell-all book that paints yet another ugly picture of his time in office."
"We also have an update on last night's biggest story by far — I'm talking of course about Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend's balls," Stephen Colbert said on The Late Show. "Nicki's a friend of the show, or at least a cousin's friend, so it's no surprise she saw the bit last night and retweeted it," adding that she "'rlly like[s] Stephen Colbert. #SuperBalls.' Nicki, for the record I rlly like you, too — that's why I want you to get vaccinated."
Colbert showed the Trinidadian health minister shooting down COVID vaccine testicle inflation, and something clicked: "Sir, are you calling Nicki Minaj a liar? Because to do that takes some really big... wait a second! Now I know why he's hiding behind that giant table!" He also mocked/one-upped Tucker Carlson by asking for an interview directly with Nicki Minaj's cousin's friends' balls.
Lots of Americans got vaccinated over the last month, so "it turns out many of them weren't so much anti-vaccinate as they were pro-crastinate," Jimmy Fallon joked on The Tonight Show. "Today in Washington, a Senate committee held a hearing on milk prices, and one senator from Kansas was really into milk," he showed. "He didn't say anything sexual, but think we'd all agree that felt weirdly sexual, right? Somehow in the middle of that clip I immediately became lactose intolerant. Later he got a call from Mike Pence, who said, 'I think you have a drinking problem.'"
The Late Show animated the Pence revelations in the new Trump tell-all. Watch below.