"Gavin Newsom's still the governor" of California after "he trounced a clown car full of candidates who were running against him" in Tuesday's recall election, Jimmy Kimmel said on Wednesday's Kimmel Live. "The cost to our state was about $300 million, which I think is the third-most-expensive dinner at French Laundry ever."
"Have you been following this ongoing saga of Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend's testicles?" Kimmel asked. "Dr. Fauci had to weigh in on it, even the minister of health in Trinidad and Tobago was forced to issue an official statement," he said, "but I have a lot of questions for Nicki's cousin's friend," and Minaj tweeted at him that "he's willing to talk for the right price." Really, "by the pound?" Kimmel asked.
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
"We also have an update on last night's biggest story by far — I'm talking of course about Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend's balls," Stephen Colbert said on The Late Show. "Nicki's a friend of the show, or at least a cousin's friend, so it's no surprise she saw the bit last night and retweeted it," adding that she "'rlly like[s] Stephen Colbert. #SuperBalls.' Nicki, for the record I rlly like you, too — that's why I want you to get vaccinated."
Colbert showed the Trinidadian health minister shooting down COVID vaccine testicle inflation, and something clicked: "Sir, are you calling Nicki Minaj a liar? Because to do that takes some really big... wait a second! Now I know why he's hiding behind that giant table!" He also mocked/one-upped Tucker Carlson by asking for an interview directly with Nicki Minaj's cousin's friends' balls.
Lots of Americans got vaccinated over the last month, so "it turns out many of them weren't so much anti-vaccinate as they were pro-crastinate," Jimmy Fallon joked on The Tonight Show. "Today in Washington, a Senate committee held a hearing on milk prices, and one senator from Kansas was really into milk," he showed. "He didn't say anything sexual, but think we'd all agree that felt weirdly sexual, right? Somehow in the middle of that clip I immediately became lactose intolerant. Later he got a call from Mike Pence, who said, 'I think you have a drinking problem.'"
The Late Show animated the Pence revelations in the new Trump tell-all. Watch below.
-
What to know before turning to AI for financial advicethe explainer It can help you crunch the numbers — but it might also pocket your data
-
Book reviews: 'The Headache: The Science of a Most Confounding Affliction—and a Search for Relief' and 'Tonight in Jungleland: The Making of Born to Run'Feature The search for a headache cure and revisiting Springsteen's 'Born to Run' album on its 50th anniversary
-
Keith McNally' 6 favorite books that have ambitious charactersFeature The London-born restaurateur recommends works by Leo Tolstoy, John le Carré, and more
-
Florida erases rainbow crosswalk at Pulse nightclubSpeed Read The colorful crosswalk was outside the former LGBTQ nightclub where 49 people were killed in a 2016 shooting
-
Trump says Smithsonian too focused on slavery's illsSpeed Read The president would prefer the museum to highlight 'success,' 'brightness' and 'the future'
-
Trump to host Kennedy Honors for Kiss, StalloneSpeed Read Actor Sylvester Stallone and the glam-rock band Kiss were among those named as this year's inductees
-
White House seeks to bend Smithsonian to Trump's viewSpeed Read The Smithsonian Institution's 21 museums are under review to ensure their content aligns with the president's interpretation of American history
-
Charlamagne Tha God irks Trump with Epstein talkSpeed Read The radio host said the Jeffrey Epstein scandal could help 'traditional conservatives' take back the Republican Party
-
CBS cancels Colbert's 'Late Show'Speed Read 'The Late Show with Stephen Colbert' is ending next year
-
Shakespeare not an absent spouse, study proposesspeed read A letter fragment suggests that the Shakespeares lived together all along, says scholar Matthew Steggle
-
New Mexico to investigate death of Gene Hackman, wifespeed read The Oscar-winning actor and his wife Betsy Arakawa were found dead in their home with no signs of foul play
