The Week contest: Drunk selling

Last week's question: A man in New Zealand who reported his car stolen had to be told by police that he had actually sold the vehicle to a stranger the previous day while drunk to buy more drinks. Please supply an appropriate tabloid headline for this embarrassing mistake.
Click here for the results of last week's contest: Love apart
RESULTS:
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
THE WINNER: "Boozed Car Salesman"
Keith Twitchell, New Orleans
SECOND PLACE: "Give Me One For The Roadster"
Jeff Holmes, St. Paul, Minn.
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
THIRD PLACE: "Grand Theft Blotto"
Amy Heesackr, Athens, Ga.
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
"Gone in 60 Drinks"
Arthur Pearl, San Diego
"Mercedes Bender"
Janine Witte, New Hope, Penn.
"Don't drink and sell!"
Ken Kellam III, Dallas
"Six Cylinders for a Six Pack!"
Ken Liebman, Williston, Vt.
"Grand Theft... Oh No"
Colleen McEwen, Franklin, Mass.
"Man Designates a New Driver"
Emily Aborn, Temple, N.H.
"How to Drink and Not Drive"
Tom Church, Wichita, Kan.
"Man sells Clunker to get Drunker"
Tom Murray, Roswell, Ga.
"Alcarholics Anonymous"
Wendy Maund, Woodinville, Wash.
"Chevy for a Bevy"
Chris Friedrich, New York City
"Liquid Assets"
Bradley Wighton, Medford, N.J.
-
How the woke right gained power in the US
Under the radar The term has grown in prominence since Donald Trump returned to the White House
By Chas Newkey-Burden, The Week UK
-
Codeword: April 24, 2025
The Week's daily codeword puzzle
By The Week Staff
-
Crossword: April 24, 2025
The Week's daily crossword
By The Week Staff
-
Why Russia removed the Taliban's terrorist designation
The Explainer Russia had designated the Taliban as a terrorist group over 20 years ago
By Justin Klawans, The Week US
-
Inside the Israel-Turkey geopolitical dance across Syria
THE EXPLAINER As Syria struggles in the wake of the Assad regime's collapse, its neighbors are carefully coordinating to avoid potential military confrontations
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US
-
'Like a sound from hell': Serbia and sonic weapons
The Explainer Half a million people sign petition alleging Serbian police used an illegal 'sound cannon' to disrupt anti-government protests
By Abby Wilson
-
The arrest of the Philippines' former president leaves the country's drug war in disarray
In the Spotlight Rodrigo Duterte was arrested by the ICC earlier this month
By Justin Klawans, The Week US
-
Ukrainian election: who could replace Zelenskyy?
The Explainer Donald Trump's 'dictator' jibe raises pressure on Ukraine to the polls while the country is under martial law
By Sorcha Bradley, The Week UK
-
Why Serbian protesters set off smoke bombs in parliament
THE EXPLAINER Ongoing anti-corruption protests erupted into full view this week as Serbian protesters threw the country's legislature into chaos
By Rafi Schwartz, The Week US
-
Who is the Hat Man? 'Shadow people' and sleep paralysis
In Depth 'Sleep demons' have plagued our dreams throughout the centuries, but the explanation could be medical
By The Week Staff
-
Why Assad fell so fast
The Explainer The newly liberated Syria is in an incredibly precarious position, but it's too soon to succumb to defeatist gloom
By The Week UK