The daily gossip: December 2, 2019

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Scott Meslow
Martin Scorsese.
Kimberly White/Getty Images
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1.

Martin Scorsese prefers you not watch The Irishman on a cell phone

Martin Scorsese's The Irishman, which clocks in at a hefty three and a half hours, is finally available on Netflix. But while the streaming service offers subscribers enough versatility to watch The Irishman on pretty much any device with a screen and an internet connection, Scorsese politely requests that you use your TV, not your phone (which would probably run out of battery around hour three anyway). "Please, please don't look at it on a phone," said Scorsese, adding that "a big iPad" might be okay. But hey, he didn't say anything about smart watches, so go crazy! [Entertainment Weekly]

2.

Pete Davidson makes fans sign $1 million non-disclosure agreement to see his comedy show

If you plan to attend one of Saturday Night Live star Pete Davidson's comedy shows, we hope the tickets weren't too expensive, because a violating non-disclosure agreement could cost you a cool $1 million. One attendee took to social media to post the unusually draconian NDA for Davidson's San Francisco show, which said anyone who posted "any interviews, opinions, or critiques" of the show to blogs or social media could face "$1 million in damages as well as legal costs." That might sound pretty harsh — but honestly, "getting sued into oblivion by Pete Davidson" is probably funnier than any of the actual jokes in the show. [Entertainment Weekly]

3.

Alanis Morisette announces Jagged Little Pill 25th anniversary tour

It's not quite a time machine, but if you want to relive the '90s, you can't do much better than Alanis Morisette's upcoming Jagged Little Pill tour. Morisette will celebrate the 25th anniversary of her album on a tour that will also include appearances by fellow '90s rockers Garbage and Liz Phair. The tour will span from June to July of 2020, and tickets go on sale on December 13. For now, that's all you, you, you oughta know. [Variety]

4.

Jamie Lee Curtis is terrified of horror movies

You'd think that starring in no fewer than five Halloween movies might cure an actress of her spooky-movie phobia — but in a recent interview, Jamie Lee Curtis revealed that she's still petrified of "loud noises" and "suspense music." People "buy expensive bad popcorn and sugar drinks just to sit there to be tortured by a filmmaker," says Curtis. And when you put it like that, she's right: Horror movies are pretty scary. [The New Yorker]

5.

Kid Rock doesn't like Oprah

Today in bizarre one-sided celebrity feuds: Kid Rock — whose primary musical innovation was mashing up "Werewolves of London" and "Sweet Home Alabama" and somehow making both exponentially worse — inexplicably called out Oprah Winfrey in a tirade so vile that we're choosing not to quote any of it here. After ranting for a while, Kid Rock was eventually escorted off the stage. Winfrey, we presume, went on not remembering or caring that Kid Rock exists. [Page Six]