Elvis ‘leaves voicemail on reporter’s phone’

A reporter says Elvis Presley is alive and has left her a voicemail asking for the chance to “set the record straight”. Suzanne Stratford says the King said in his message: “Suzanna, the stories about me are not being told so seriously. What can you do to allow me to see you face to face without any other reporters around? I want to set the record straight.”

Did Birds Eye worker pee on the pea production line?

Birds Eye may have to destroy up to 10,000 tonnes of stock after a worker filmed himself “urinating” on a production line full of peas. The disgruntled employee told colleagues at the Hull plant it was a “f*** you goodbye” on his last shift. A spokesperson for the company said: “Consumers can continue to enjoy our peas without concerns.”

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Kenyan assembly debate halted by fart

A debate at a Kenyan regional assembly was disrupted by a fart last week. “Honourable Speaker, one of us has polluted the air and I know who it is,” Julius Gaya reportedly told Homa Bay county assembly. However, the member he accused of farting is said to have replied: “I am not the one. I cannot do such a thing in front of my colleagues.”

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