Dr. Anthony Fauci finally got to testify Tuesday without President Trump "looming nearby," and he warned senators "that reopening the economy too soon would cause 'needless suffering and death,'" Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday's Late Show. "Listening to health experts testify today, you might feel like we've got a long battle ahead of us, but according to the president, we've already won," he said. Privately, though, Trump is apparently "freaking out" about the White House's COVID-19 outbreak, he said. "For a germaphobe, Trump sure is anxious to get the rest of us out in the hot zone. It's the ultimate 'This milk smells funny — you drink it. Also, this bleach smells funny; drink that, too.'"
A Pennsylvania PPE factory, "worried that a visit from Trump could jeopardize the safety of the workers," said no, Colbert marveled. "We've all felt this way, but now someone can finally tell Donald Trump: 'Listening to you talk might kill me!'"
Jimmy Kimmel joked that Fauci's "needless suffering and death" warning "is Trump's new campaign slogan. Trump "continues to pat himself on the back," he added, but an unreleased report from Trump's own pandemic task force "shows the numbers going way up in many spots across the country," especially in "the Midwest and the South."
The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
"Even though the president says everything is great, he's also desperate to blame the fact that it isn't on anyone but him," Kimmel said. "His new thing is 'ObamaGate.' He doesn't know what it is, but he's going with it," apparently stung by Obama privately calling his coronavirus response "a 'chaotic disaster.'"
Tooning Out the News also illustrated Trump's ObamaGate confusion.
The Daily Show's Trevor Noah tied Trump's ObamaGate rants to the Justice Department dropping charges against Michael Flynn. "Trump says the investigation itself was the real crime" and Obama was "the ringleader," Noah said. But really, "we have no idea what ObamaGate is actually is supposed to be. And I don't think Trump actually knows, either. In fact, I think the only lesson Trump learned from Watergate is that things he doesn't like should have the word '-gate' after it: ObamaGate, SaladGate, EricGate."
Fauci "keeps having to come up with new ways to say 'Please stay inside or you might die," Noah said, but "I bet this time Trump is way more likely to listen — because now he's watching it on TV." Watch below. Peter Weber
-
Florida erases rainbow crosswalk at Pulse nightclubSpeed Read The colorful crosswalk was outside the former LGBTQ nightclub where 49 people were killed in a 2016 shooting
-
Trump says Smithsonian too focused on slavery's illsSpeed Read The president would prefer the museum to highlight 'success,' 'brightness' and 'the future'
-
Trump to host Kennedy Honors for Kiss, StalloneSpeed Read Actor Sylvester Stallone and the glam-rock band Kiss were among those named as this year's inductees
-
White House seeks to bend Smithsonian to Trump's viewSpeed Read The Smithsonian Institution's 21 museums are under review to ensure their content aligns with the president's interpretation of American history
-
Charlamagne Tha God irks Trump with Epstein talkSpeed Read The radio host said the Jeffrey Epstein scandal could help 'traditional conservatives' take back the Republican Party
-
CBS cancels Colbert's 'Late Show'Speed Read 'The Late Show with Stephen Colbert' is ending next year
-
A long weekend in ZürichThe Week Recommends The vibrant Swiss city is far more than just a banking hub
-
Shakespeare not an absent spouse, study proposesspeed read A letter fragment suggests that the Shakespeares lived together all along, says scholar Matthew Steggle
